Deliver Jokes

A country doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby.It was so far out, there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5-year-old child. The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see, while he helped the woman deliver the baby.The child did so, the mother pushed and after a little while, the doctor lifted the newborn baby by the feet and spanked him on the bottom to get him to take his first breath.The doctor then asked the 5-year-old what he thought of the baby."Hit him again," the 5-year-old said. "He shouldn't have crawled up there in the first place!"

Day 1 Dear Emile, Thanks for da bird in the Pear tree. I fixed it las
night with dirty rice an it was delicious. I doan tink the Pear tree
would grow in de swamp, so I swapped it for a Satsuma.
Day 2 Dear Emile, Your letter said you sent 2 turtle dove, but all I got
was 2 scrawny pigeon.
Anyway, I mixed them with andouille and made some gumbo out of dem.
Day 3 Dear Emile, Why doan you sen me some crawfish? I’m tired of
eating dem darned bird. I gave two of those prissy French chicken to
Mrs. Fontenot over at Grand Chenier, and fed the tird one to my dog,
Phideaux. Mrs. Fontenot needed some sparring partners for her fighting
rooster.
Day 4 Dear Emile, Mon Dieux! I tole you no more of dem bird. Deez
four, what you call “calling bird” wuz so noisy you could hear dem all
da’ way to Lafayette. I used they necks for my crab traps, and fed the
rest of dem to the gators.
Day 5 Dear Emile, You finally sent more...

An old county doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was so far out that there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5 year old child. The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see while he helped the woman deliver the baby.
The child did so, the mother pushed, and after a little while, the doctor lifted the new born baby by the feet and spanked him on the bottom to get him to take his first breath.
"Hit him again," the child said. "He shouldn't have crawled up there in the first place!!"

The country doctor headed out into the boondocks to deliver a baby. This place was so far out that there was no electricity. When he arrived there was no one home except the expectant mother and her 6 year old child.
The doctor told the child to hold a lantern up high so he would be able see while he helped the mother deliver. The child held the lantern as the doctor instructed. The mother began to push and after a while the doctor lifted the newborn by the feet and spanked him on the bottom to get him to take his first breath.
"Spank him again," the child said. "He never should have crawled up there in the first place!"

a young attravtive woman was waiting up for santa clouse to come, he finally came and the woman wanted him to stay "santa please stay" santa replied
"ho ho ho gotta go gotta deliver prezzies door to door"
she took of her night gown and then asked again "now wil you stay"
again he replied "ho ho ho gota go gotta deliver prezzies door to door"
she took off her bra "now will stay"
"ho ho ho gotta go gotta deliver prezzies door to door"
in a last effort she took off her thong "now will u stay"
santa replied "hey hey hey gotta stay hangin on the chimney with a stiffi on the way"