Sniff Jokes

Q.How Do You Make A Blonde Drown?
A.You Put A Scratch And Sniff Sticker At
The Bottom Of A Pool And Tell Her To Go Sniff It!

LEASH:
======
A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your person where you want him/her to go.
DOG BED:
========
Any soft, clean surface, such as the white bedspread in the guest room or the newly upholstered couch in the living room.
DROOL:
======
Is what you do when your persons have food and you don't. To do this properly you must sit as close as you can and look sad and let the drool fall to the floor, or better yet, on their laps.
SNIFF:
======
A social custom to use when you greet other dogs. Place your nose as close as you can to the other dog's rear end and inhale deeply, repeat several times, or until your person makes you stop. This can also be done to human's crotches.
GARBAGE CAN:
=============
A container which your neighbors put out once a week to test your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push the lid off with your nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with margarine more...

Yo. I ain't here at the moment. Leave a message at that silly beep and I'll get back... (Sniff, sniff...) Hey, what are you cooking? It smells good.

Do Or Say If You Wake Up To Your Roommate Having Sex
50. (the obvious) "Ooooooo"
49. "That would work better the other way around. ."
48. Sniff. Sniff. "Is something burning?"
47. "Damn, that's complicated."
46. "Wait, wait, use my pillow."
45. "Alright already, _I_came."
44. "You guys need a value pak."
43. Smoke a pipe. Every once in a while wave it around and say "Good show, old bean."
42. "Is that sperm or a mudpack?"
41. "You've got something stuck in your teeth."
40. "4 out of 5 dentists say that's bad for your enamel."
39. Go to the fridge, break open a cold one and pick up the remote. Point and click. Complain when they don't change positions.
38. "You know, they say that three's a charm."
37. Suggest your favorite position.
36. Shine a flashlight on them and say, "This is a citizen's arrest, more...

Ed was a successful computer programmer and a happy family man. His life was blessed with a loving wife, 2 kids, three cats and a dog.

Ed loved taking Rusty the dog for his evening walk and was proud when his son, little Johnny, began asking to go along on Rusty's evening walks.

Little Johnny was an observant and curious child and one evening asked his father:' Daddy, why does Rusty always sniff that phone pole when we take him for his walk?'

Well, Ed wasn't sure how he should answer his son. How DOES one explain the way animals mark their territory to a 6-year-old? Stalling for time Ed asked:' What do you think he's doing Johnny?'

Johnny frowned in concentration, then brightened and said:' I know! I Know! He's checking his P-Mail!'