Louise Jokes / Recent Jokes

After the annual office Christmas party blow-out, John woke up with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed, and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening.
After a trip to the bathroom he was able to make his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him.
"Louise," he moaned, "Tell me what went on last night. Was it as bad as I think?"
"Even worse," she assured him in her most scornful tone. "You made a complete ass of yourself.
You succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors, and insulted the chairman of the company to his face."
"He's an arrogant, self-important prick, piss on him!"
"You did. All over his suit," Louise informed him. "And he fired you."
"Well, screw him," said John.
"I did, said Louise, "You're back at work on Monday."

The media have grotesquely skewed the public image of women who choose to own firearms. Unfortunately, such exposure can affect one's self-image. This test is offered in the hopes of putting these false images into a more proper perspective. Please circle your answers to each below:
1. What is the real meaning of that pink T-shirt with a revolver on it that says: "The ultimate in feminine protection?"
Obviously a plot by seditious gun fanatics from the NRA.
I'm amazed the pigs have no law banning women's T-Shirts.
A 9mm for "light days" and a. 44 Magnum for "heavy days."
2. For rape and assault prevention, a whistle is:
All you'll ever need.
Like I'd use yet another phallic symbol.
The signal to open fire.
3. The movie "Thelma & Louise" was:
An insidious plot to stamp out femininity and glorify violence.
A male ploy to encourage further suppression of women.
A training film.
4. more...