Lover Jokes / Recent Jokes
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Customer: Waiter, do you serve crabs?
Waiter: Sit down, sir, we serve anyone.
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Customer: Waiter is this a lamb chops or pork chop?
Waiter: Can't you tell the difference by taste?
Customer: No, I can't.
Waiter: Then does it really matter?
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Customer: Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.
Waiter: Yes Sir, they are not very good swimmers.
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Customer: Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter: That's all right, Sir, he won't drink much.
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Customer: Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.
Waiter: So what do you expect me to do, call a more...
As they were walking down the street, the young woman said to her lover, "Why won't you buy me a fur coat? I'm so cold."
Her boyfriend sniffed, "If you knew the answer, why'd you bother asking?"
Suspecting that his wife had a lover, but still having to be away for a day and a night, the very clever husband came up with an idea.
Under their bed, he placed a saucepan filled with milk, and above it, attached to the bottom of the bed, a wooden spoon. By his calculations, the weight of his wife shouldn't be enough for making the spoon reach the milk; but if she had company in bed, the spoon would get a white line, and the affair would be revealed.
So, the next day, as soon as he got home, he went to the bedroom and inspected the result of his plan...
The saucepan was filled with butter!
Q. What is the definition of a perfect lover?
A. A man with a nine inch tongue who can breath through his ears.
I`m a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me.
There were these two friends, one who was gay, who died in a horrible car accident. They both went to heaven and were standing at the pearly gates when St. Peter met them.
St. Peter asked the first man for a picture of his wife. After looking at the picture, St. Peter asked him if he had ever cheated on her.
The man replied, "I was unfaithful to my wife one time."
St. Peter decided to give the man a station-wagon for him to drive around heaven.
Now it was the second man's turn.
St. Peter asked him for a picture of his wife and then asked if he had ever cheated on her.
The man replied, "Actually I'm gay, but here's a picture of my lover, and I never cheated on him."
St. Peter was very impressed and decided to give the man a Ferrari to drive around heaven.
After a few months in heaven, the two friends met up with each other. The second man was bragging about his Ferrari when the other turned to him and said, "I wouldn't be more...
Last name: _________________
First name:
(Check appropriate box)
[_] billy bob [_] Bobby-Sue
[_] Billy-Joe [_] Bobby-Jo
[_] Billy-Ray [_] Bobby-Ann
[_] Billy-Sue [_] Bobby-Lee
[_] Billy-Mae [_] Bobby-Ellen
[_] Billy-Jack [_] Bobby-Beth Ann Sue
Age: ______ (if unsure, guess)
Sex: _____M_____F_____Not sure
Shoe Size: _____Left_____Right
Occupation:
[_] Farmer [_] Mechanic
[_] Hair Dresser [_] Waitress
[_] Unemployed [_] Dirty Politician
Spouse's Name_________________________
2nd Spouse's Name: _________________
3rd Spouse's Name: _________________
Lover's Name: ________________________
2nd Lover's Name: ___________________
Relationship to spouse:
[_] Sister [_] Aunt
[_] Brother [_] Uncle
[_] Mother [_] Son
[_] Father [_] Daughter
[_] Cousin [_] Pet
Number of children living in household: _____
Number more...