Lover Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: How can you tell someone is a true music lover?
A: When they put their ear up to the bathroom keyhole.

Dearest Girl:
I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in love with you since Monday, the 20th of Dec 2006. With reference to the meeting held between us on the 20th of Dec 2006 at 1000 hours, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover.
Our love affair would be on probation for a period of six (6) months and depending on compatibility it would be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on-the-relationship
training and relationship appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse.
The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broad-minded enough, to be taken care of, on your expense account.
I request you to kindly respond within 15 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be canceled without further notice and I shall be more...

Boss said to Secretary: For a week we will go abroad, so make arrangement.
Secretary makes call to Husband: For a week my boss and I will be going abroad, you look after yourself.
Husband makes call to secret lover: My wife is going abroad for a week, so lets spend the week together.
Secret lover makes call to small boy whom she is giving private tution: I have work for a week, so you need not come for class.
Small boy makes call to his grandfather: Grandpa, for a week I don't have class' coz my teacher is busy. Lets spend the week together.

This Grandpa is the boss of this story.
He makes call to his secretary: This week I am spending my time with my grandson. We cannot attend that meeting.
Secretary makes call to her husband: This week my boss has some work, we cancelled our trip.
Husband makes call to secret lover: We cannot spend this week together, my wife has cancelled her trip.
Secret lover makes call to small boy whom she is more...

A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet. One day the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet, as well.
Inside the closet, the little boy says, "It's dark in here, isn't it?
"Yes it is," the man replies.
"You wanna buy a baseball?" the little boy asks.
"No thanks," the man replies.
"I think you do want to buy a baseball," the little extortionist continues.
"OK. How much?" the man replies after considering the position he is in.
"Twenty-five dollars," the little boy replies.
"TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?!" the man repeats incredulously, but complies to protect his hidden position.
The following week, the lover is visiting the woman again when she hears a car in the driveway and, again, places her lover in the closet with her little boy.
"It's dark in here, isn't more...

The girl asked her lover, "Darling, if we get engaged will you give me a ring?"
"Sure, " replied her lover "What's your phone number?"

Cat Lover's Rules:
1. The cat is not allowed in the house.
2. OK, the cat is allowed in the house, but only in certain rooms.
3. Ok, the cat is allowed in all rooms, but must stay off the furniture.
4. The cat can get on the old furniture only.
5. Fine, the cat is allowed on all the furniture, but it is not allowed to sleep with the humans on the bed.
6. The cat can sleep on the bed, but not under the covers or on the pillow.
7. OK, The cat can sleep under the covers and on the pillow by invitation only.
8. Well, ok, the cat can sleep under the covers every night and on the pillow too.
9. Humans must ask permission to sleep under the cover with the cat; only the cat can sleep on the pillow.

In bed with her lover after several hours of passionate lovemaking, Brenda's
phone rang. She told her lover, who was also her husband's best friend, to
be very quiet. As she answered the phone, he listened quietly to her
cheerful side of the conversation. "Hello? Oh, hi. Oh, really? Well, that
sounds wonderful! I'm so happy for you! Great! Okay, have a good time. Bye!"
She hung up the phone and her lover asked, "Who was that?"
She replied, "That was just my husband, telling me all
about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip
with you."