Lover Jokes / Recent Jokes

Delhi
15-Oct-2006
To
Juliet
Grade 7. 0 S. M
Sub: Offer of love!
Dearest Ms Juliet,
I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in Love with you since the 14th of October (Saturday). With reference to the meeting held between us on the 13th of Oct. at 1500 hrs, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover. Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse. The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us.
Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broadminded enough to be taken care of, on your expense account. I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, more...

ORAL SEX - AN ODE TO LOVE
Penis breath, a lover's dread,
Is what you get when you give head.
Unpleasant as it tends to be,
Be grateful that he doesn't pee.
It's times like this, you wonder why,
You bothered reaching for his fly.
But it's too late, can't be a tease,
Accept the facts, get on your knees.
You know you've got a job to do,
So open wide and shove it through,
Lick the tip then take it all.
Don't drag your teeth or he might bawl,
Slide up and down, use your tongue.
And feel the precum start to run,
Your jaw it aches, your neck is numb,
So when the fuck's he gonna cum.
Just, when you can't take anymore,
You hear your lover's mighty roar.
And when he hits that real high note,
You feel it oozing down your throat.
Salty, fishy, sticky stuff,
Okay already, that's enough.
Let's switch you say, before you gag,
And what revenge, you're on the rag.

A woman and her lover are on the bed in the woman's home, when all of a sudden, they hear the front door open and close. "Oh, no, it's my husband!" The man says, "Where's your back door?" "We don't have a back door" says the woman. The man then asks, "Well, where do you want a back door?"

A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet. One day the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet, as well.
Inside the closet, the little boy says, "It's dark in here, isn't it?"
"Yes it is," the man replies.
"You wanna buy a baseball?" the little boy asks.
"No thanks," the man replies.
"I think you do want to buy a baseball," the little extortionist continues.
"OK. How much?" the man replies after considering the position he is in.
"Twenty-five dollars," the little boy replies.
"TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?!" the man repeats incredulously, but complies to protect his hidden position.
The following week, the lover is visiting the woman again when she hears a car in the driveway and, again, places her lover in the closet with her little boy.
"It's dark in here, isn't it?" more...

Dearest Ms Julie Yeh,
I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in love with
you since the 14th of October (Sunday). With reference to the meeting
held between us on the 13th of Oct. at 1500 hrs, I would like to present
myself as a prospective lover.
Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three
months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent. Of
course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job
training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from
lover to spouse.
The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would
initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance,
I might take up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broadminded
enough, to be taken care of, on your expense account.
I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving
this letter, failing which, this offer would be cancelled more...

A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet. One day the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet, as well.
Inside the closet, the little boy says, "It sure is dark in here, isn't it?
"Yes it is," the man replies.
"You wanna buy a baseball?" the little boy asks.
"No thanks," the man replies.
"I think you do want to buy a baseball," the little boy says firmly.
The man considers the position he is in for a moment. "Uh, I see. You're right, I do want to buy the ball. How much?"
Twenty-five dollars," the little extortionist replies. "TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?!" the man repeats incredulously, but then shakes his head and complies to protect his hidden position.
The following week, the lover is visiting the woman again when she hears a car in the driveway and, again, places him in the closet with her more...

A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet.
One day the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet, as well. Inside the closet, the little boy says, "It sure is dark in here, isn't it?"
"Yes it is," the man replies.
"Do you wanna buy a baseball?" asks the little boy.
"No, thank you," the man replies.
"I think you do wanna buy a baseball," the little extortionist continues.
After considering the position he's in, the man says, "Fine. How much?"
"Twenty-five dollars," the little boy replies.
"TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?!" the man repeats incredulously, but complies to protect his hidden position.
The following week, the lover is visiting the woman again when she hears a car in the driveway. Again, the woman places her lover in the closet with her little boy.
"It sure is dark in more...