Lovers Jokes / Recent Jokes
How did the octopus lovers walk down the road? Arm in arm in arm in arm in arm in arm in arm in arm in arm.
Two lovers of poetry used to meet occasionally for a stroll in the Countryside and discuss the attributes of their favourite Bards. On one such occasion, the lover of Shakespeare and the lover of Wordsworth met and whilst strolling along, were confronted by an elderly man with a very straight back and very bandy legs. Immediately the lover of Shakespeare said to his colleague.
"How would your Wordsworth have described this chap". Without any hesitation, he replied, "Wordsworth would have said,
Lo! Here comes a venerable gent, his back is straight, though his legs are bent". Then he immediately enquired of his friend,
"What would your mate Shakespeare have said?" The reply was, "What manner of man is this, who approaches us with his Balls in Parenthesis".
Why do English make better lovers than Portugese/Germans?
Because English are the only one’s who can stay on top for 45 Minutes and still come second!
Two teens had been lovers for a few weeks, but the boy was always after the girl to quit smoking. One afternoon, she lit up after some love making, and he said, "You really ought to quit."She, getting tired of his nagging, said, "I really enjoy a good cigarette after sex."He replied, "But they stunt your growth." She asked if he ever smoked, and he replied that he had never. Smiling and lifting her gaze to his groin, she said, "So, what's your excuse then?"
Three nature lovers went for a drive into the mountains one day to see if they could spot some bears. They wanted to take pictures of bears for their photo album. So they drove along an old dirt road until they entered the trees. As they rounded a curve, they spotted a sign that read: "BEAR LEFT."
So they turned around and went home.
Two gay male lovers were talking and Bob says to Jon, "I wish I had chest hair like you" So the next day Bob goes to the doctor and asks for something to grow chest hair. The doctor gives him something and he says "It will work in about two months." Two months later Bob has no hair on his chest and back to the doctor he goes. The Doctor says,' Rub some Vaseline on your chest, and in a week you will be growing hair.' Jon comes home that day seeing Bob rub Vaseline and asks "Why?" Bob says "to grow chest hair" Jon says if Vaseline grows hair you would have a ponytail comin' out your ass!"
If your favorite color is: RED Tend to be tigers in the sack. They are easily aroused and enjoy sex in every way imaginable. Once the sexual spark is lighted, it may take hours to extinguish. When two Reds get together, the ensuing erotica could make Lady Chatterley blush. Lovers of Red tend to be the aggressors and weaker colors should beware! YELLOW If you tend to favor Yellow your sexual drivers are complex and lean toward the adaptable. The favorite color of homosexuals is Yellow! No don't panic, not everyone who wears Yellow is gay. In most cases the person will acquiesce to the stronger partner's desires in a passive manner. You will never enjoy sex to the fullest, but you will never turn down an invitation from someone you enjoy or admire. PURPLE Lovers of the color Purple frequently consider themselves too regal for a fun romp in the sack. Women sometimes are the type who hate to muss their hair. Men are businesslike in their approach to lovemaking. In both sexes, Purple more...