Lower Jokes / Recent Jokes

According to Yahoo News, a study performed by the Pacific Institute of Research revealed that children from 2 to 4 years old that were spanked scored 5 points lower on an IQ test versus their unspanked counterparts. Children from ages 5 to 9 who were spanked scored an average of 2.8 points lower than unspanked children in the same age group.
A new study is being coordinated right now to see if spanking has the same effect on adults who are 18 years old and up. Female volunteers are needed. Email me for details.

Dear Sir,
I am writing in response to your request for additional information for block number 3 of the accident reporting form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully and I trust the following detail will be sufficient.
I am an amateur radio operator and on the day of the accident, I was working alone on the top section of my new 80 foot tower. When I had completed my work, I discovered that I had, over the course of several trips up the tower, brought up about 300 pounds of tools and spare hardware. Rather than carry the now un-needed tools and material down by hand, I decided to lower the items down in a small barrel by using a pulley, which fortunately was attached to the gin pole at the top of the tower.
Securing the rope at ground level, I went to the top of the tower and loaded the tools and material into the barrel. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly more...

This is a bricklayer's accident report that was printed in the newsletter of the English equivalent of the Workers' Compensation Board. So here, thanks to John Sedgwick, is this Bricklayer's report. Dear Sir; I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block #3 of the accident reporting form. I put "Poor Planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a more complete explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient. I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later, were found to weigh 240 lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley which was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out, and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went more...

Dear Sir, I am writing in response to your request for additional information for block number 3 of the accident reporting form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully and I trust the following detail will be sufficient. I am an amateur radio operator and on the day of the accident, I was working alone on the top section of my new 80 foot tower. When I had completed my work, I discovered that I had, over the course of several trips up the tower, brought up about 300 pounds of tools and spare hardware. Rather than carry the now un-needed tools and material down by hand, I decided to lower the items down in a small barrel by using a pulley, which fortunately was attached to the gin pole at the top of the tower. Securing the rope at ground level, I went to the top of the tower and loaded the tools and material into the barrel. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a more...

SAVE THE BOGAN (maximumus tightblackjeanus withmulletus)

First identified as a sub-species during the mid-70s, the Bogan is thought to be a close relation of the Booner (found in Canberra's outer suburbs) and the Westie (spread throughout Western Sydney). It is believed the initial Perth bogan population was introduced to purpose-built habitats such as Rockingham and Balga. However, by the mid-80s, the species had multiplied to plague proportions, spreading through much of Gosnells and outer-Mirrabooka. While authorities considered a culling program, they need not have bothered, as the regional population began a rapid decline from the early O90s onwards. The situation has now reached a critical point, with Bogans rarely sighted in Central Perth, and those remaining clinging to the region's outskirts.

In the year 2000, the species is now officially endangered. Identifying a Bogan is not difficult. Males sport a distinctive hair growth called a "mullet" more...