Mac Jokes / Recent Jokes

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den
and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look
at the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer
and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I
can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my
business. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend
anything?
ABBOTT: more...

Customer: "My disk is stuck in my disk drive. Clicking eject doesn't work." Tech Support: "Ok, turn the power to your Mac off, hold down the mouse clicker, and power the Mac back up." Customer: "Look, I don't have three hands!"

I was just having a conversation with someone who is about to buy a Mac.

I was against it and an argument started.

I said there were too few people supporting the Mac.

He responded, "When was the last time you heard of a virus on a Mac?"

And I said "See, even people who write viruses don`t support Macs."

A user came up and wanted to know why their 3. 5" disk wouldn't go into the Mac's floppy drive. I check out the disk, noted that it was okay, and then walked over to the offending machine, suspecting a hardware problem with the disk mechanism. As I moved to insert the disk into the drive to test things out, the user interrupted me: "No! Not that drive... *this* one." "This" drive, of course, turned out to be a CD-ROM.

The Night Before Christmas

A festive holiday poem by Hugh Drumm & Vincent Ambrose
' Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Net,
There were hacker's a surfing. Nerds? Yeah, you bet.
The e-mails were stacked by the modem with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.
The newbies were nestled all snug by their screens,
While visions of Java danced in their dreams.
My wife on the sofa and me with a snack,
We just settled down at my rig (it's a Mac).
When out in the Web there arose such a clatter,
I jumped to the site to see what was the matter.
To a new page my Mac flew like a flash,
Then made a slight gurgle. It started to crash!!
I gasped at the thought and started to grouse,
Then turned my head sideways and clicked on my mouse.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
My Mac jumped to a page that wasn't quite clear.
When the image resolved, so bright and so more...

In case you missed the article, someone found a condom in a McDonald's hamburger recently. Here's David Letterman's explanation in his Top 10 format

Top Ten List... McDonald's excuses for the condom in the Big Mac

10. We were test marketing the new' 'McTrojan''

9. Condom, Condiment - what's the damn difference

8. It still tastes better than the Arch Deluxe

7. It was either there or in the vanilla shake

6. Turns out the rumors about Grimace and Mayor McCheese are true

5. We're experimenting with a new even happier Happy Meal

4. So what - a regular Big Mac is 60% latex anyway

3. Employees too embarrassed to say' 'Would you like condoms with that''

2. Drive-thru speaker broken-''Coke with lots of ice'' sounded like' 'Prophylactic device''

1. When you're serving billions and billions, you can't be too careful.

Cologne, May 27 dpa - The U. S. dollar is undervalued against the Deutsch-mark based on how many "Big Mac" hamburger sandwiches the two currencies can purchase, said one of Germany`s leading institutes.

The Institute of the German Economy (IW) in Cologne noted that the popular sandwich by the McDonald`s restaurant chain is increasingly being used by economists around the world as a measure of currencies` relative purchasing power.

The institute said that currency exchange rates are often unreliable as an instrument to measure purchasing power. At the same time, "baskets" of products used to arrive at comparative purchasing power are complicated to compile.

A simple alternative, now that McDonald`s has spread to virtually every country on earth, has become to look at what a Big Mac costs, the IW said.

"A particularly hungry American can buy five Big Macs for 11 dollars. If he exchanged the money into Deutsch-marks, more...