Machine Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day a blonde went up to a soda machine and put in her money, pushed a button and a soda came out. She put in more money and got another soda. Then a guy came up behind her and was wating for his turn to get a soda.The blonde was still putting in change and getting sodas. ''Are you done yet,'' the guy finally asked.Then the blonde replied, ''No, I'm winning.''

Q: Why is a washing machine better than a blonde?
A: Because you can drop your load in a washing machine, and it won't follow you around for a week.

While in a Houston bar's restroom, my co-worker saw the following
scrawled on a condom machine:

Q: Why is a washing machine better than a blonde? A: Because you can drop your load in a washing machine, and it won't follow you around for a week.

One day at the end of class little Billy's teacher has the class go home and think of a story and then conclude the moral of that story....

The next day Billy tells his story.... "My dad fought in the Vietnam war, his plane was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed with only a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete. On the way down he drank the case of beer.

Unfortunately he landed right in the middle of 100 Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun, but ran out of bullets, so he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more, but the blade on his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands".

Teacher looks in shock at Billy and asks if there is possibly any moral to his story....

Billy replies, "Yeah... don't mess with my dad when he's been drinking.

Eliot Spitzer has quickly become the butt of many late-night jokes. He was the focus of The Late Show with David Letterman's Top Ten list, about messages Spitzer has on his answer machine now.

This is a test. This is a test of the Answering Machine Broadcast System. This is only a test.