Madras Jokes

Steinberg and Fleisher, partners in the garment industry had just suffered through their worst season ever. Ten thousand madras sports coats were hanging on the rack unsold, and bankruptcy was looming closer.

Out of the blue, in walked a buyer from Australia. "I say there," he began, "you boys wouldn't have any madras sports coats, would you? I've been looking for them everywhere."

Steinberg said there MIGHT be a few left, and soon a deal was made whereby the ten thousand jackets would be shipped to Australia at a handsome profit.

"There is one thing though," said the Australian buyer. "For an order this large, I'll have to get a confirmation from my home office. I don't anticipate any problem, and unless I send you a telegram by this Friday, the deal goes through as planned."

Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday passed slowly, with the partners nervously waiting to see if the Australian would change his mind. more...

Once Santa Asked Banta Why Madras' Name Changed To Chennai. Banta Said That It Suits Their Outfit. Santa Asked How. Then The Banta Said That Because In Madras Many People Don't Wear A Pant, They All Wear A Lungi With No Chain. So Madras Was Given This Name Because People Wear Lungi With Chain Nahi (Chennai).

1. Her mother looks down at you because you didn't study in IIT or Madras / Anna University. 2. Her father starts or ends every conversation with ". .. I say..." 3. She shudders if you use four letter words. 4. She has long hair, neatly oiled and braided (The Dubai based Oil Well Company will negotiate with her on a 25 year contract to extract coconut oil from her hair.) 5. She uses the word' Super' as her only superlative. 6. Her name is another name for a Goddess or a flower. 7. Her first name is longer than your first name, middle name and surname combined (unless you are from Andhra) 8. When she mixes milk/curd and rice you are never sure whether it is for the dog or for herself. 9. For weddings, she sports a mini jasmine garden on her head and wears silk saris in the Madras heat without looking too uncomfortable while you are melting in your singlet. 10. Her favourite cricketer is Krishnamachari Srikkanth. 11. Her favourite food is dosa though she has tried North Indian more...

A lady arrived at the Madras airport after spending 36 hours in transit. She was fully exhausted after such a long trip with her 6 young kids. Collecting many suitcases, the family entered the cramped customs area.

A young customs official watched our entourage in disbelief, "Ma'am," he said, "do all these children and this luggage belong to you?"

"Yes, sir," the lady said with a sigh. "They're all mine."

The customs agent began his interrogation "Ma'am, do you have any weapons, contraband or illegal drugs in your possession?"

"Sir," she calmly answered, "if I'd had any of those items, I would have used them by now."

Schwartz and Feldman, partners in the garment industry, had just suffered through their worst season ever. Eight thousand madras sports coats were hanging on the rack unsold, and bankruptcy was looming closer each day.
Out of the blue, in walked a buyer from Australia. "I say there," he began, "you boys wouldn't happen to have any madras sports coats, would you? I've been looking for them everywhere."
Schwartz said there MIGHT be a few left, and soon a deal was made whereby the eight thousand jackets would be shipped to Australia at a handsome profit.
"There is one thing though," said the Australian buyer. "For an order this large, I'll have to get a confirmation from my home office. I don't anticipate any problem, and unless I send you a telegram by this Friday, the deal goes through as planned."
Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday passed slowly, with the partners nervously waiting to see if the Australian would change his mind. more...