Mafia Jokes / Recent Jokes

Authorities say the Mafia has a big presence on the social networking site, Facebook. It's easy to spot a mobster's profile--all the personal items say "None of your friggin business. The less you know the better." except for their hobbies, which are "Doing favors for people" and "Controlling all the trash hauling in Second Life."

What is the difference between the government and the Mafia? One of them is organized.

This wizened old man in sitting between two muscled, dark suited mafia types in the back of a big black limo.
The old man starts to lean to his left and the man pushes him back up straight. The old man starts to lean to his right and that man pushes him up straight.
The old man really looks annoyed. "Who am I!"
One on the men replies. "Your *the man*, the godfather, the capo de capo!!"
The old man responds. "So what I say goes, right?"
"Yeah, boss, yeah, whatever you say goes."
The old man waves his arms in anger. "So why the hell can't I drop a fart when I want to?!"

An old Italian Mafia Don is dying, so he calls his grandson to his bed.
"Grandson, I wanna you lissin to me. I wanna you for you to take my chrome plated 38 revolver so you will always remember me."
"But grandpa, I really don't like guns,... how about leaving me your Rolex watch instead."
"You lissin to me. Somma day you gonna be runna da bussiness, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big home and maybe a couple of bambina. Am I right?"
"Yes grandpa, I guess so."
"Ok, so soma day you gonna come home and maybe finda you wife in bed with anotha man. Whada you gonna do? Pointa to da watch and say,... TIMES UP!?"

The mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from all the
private businesses that they were 'protecting'. Feeling the heat from
the police force, they decide to use a deaf person for this job; if he
were to get caught, he wouldn't be able to communicate to the police
what he was doing.
Well, on his first week, the deaf collector picks up over $40,000. He gets
greedy, decides to keep the money and stashes it in a safe place. The mafia
soon realizes that their collection is late, and sends some of their hoods
after the deaf collector.
The hoods find the deaf collector and ask him where the money is. The
deaf collector can't communicate with them, so the mafia drags the guy
to an interpreter.
The mafia hood says to the interpreter, "Ask him where da money is."
The interpreter signs,"Where's the money?"
The deaf replies, "I don't know what you're talking about."
The interpreter more...

The Mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from all the private businesses that they were "protecting." Feeling the heat from the police force, they decide to use a deaf person for this job. If he were to get caught, he wouldn't be able to communicate to the police what he was doing. Well, on his first week, the deaf collector picks up over $40,000. He gets greedy, decides to keep the money and stashes it in a safe place. The Mafia soon realizes that their collection is late, and sends someo of their hoods after the deaf collector. The hoods find the deaf collector and ask him where the money is. The deaf collector can't communicate with them, so the Mafia drags the guy to an interpreter. The Mafia hood says to the interpreter, "Ask him where da money is." The interpreter signs, "Where's the money?" The deaf man replies, "I don't know what you're talking about." The interpreter tells the hood, "He says he doesn't know more...

The mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from all the private businesses that they were 'protecting'. Feeling the heat from the police force, they decided to use a deaf person for this job-if he were to get caught, he wouldn't be able to communicate to the police what he was doing.Well, on his first week, the deaf collector picks up over $50,000. He gets greedy, decides to keep the money and stashes it in a safe place. The mafia soon realizes that their collection is late, and sends some of their hoods after the deaf collector. The hoods find the deaf collector and ask him where the money is. The deaf collector can't communicate with them, so the mafia drags the guy to an interpreter.The mafia hood says to the interpreter, "Ask him where da money is."The interpreter signs, "Where's the money?"The deaf replies, "I don't know what you're talking about."The interpreter tells the hood, "He says he doesn't know what you're talking more...