Magic Jokes / Recent Jokes

She said,' For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.

The wife answered,' Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.

The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.

The husband thought for a moment:' Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.

The wife and the fairy were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish.

So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!...the husband became 92 years old.

The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember fairies are female.....

Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced.

My friend Nancy and I decided to introduce her elderly mother to the magic of the Internet. Our first move was to access the popular Ask Jeeves website, and we told her it could answer any question she had.
Nancy's mother was very skeptical until Nancy said, "It's true, Mom. Think of something to ask it." As I sat with fingers poised over the keyboard, Nancy's mother thought a minute, then responded, "How is Aunt Helen feeling?"

There are 3 people standing in front of a magic mirror. The mirror gives you anything you desire if you tell it the truth, but you disappear if you lie. The first person to talk to the mirror was a very fat brunette. She walked up to the mirror and said "I think I am the thinnest person in the world." and poof, the mirror gobbled her up. The next person to come up to the mirror was a very ugly red head. She told the mirror "I think I am the prettiest person in the world" and poof, the mirror gobbled her up. Lastly came the blonde. She walked up to the mirror and said "I think..." and poof, the mirror gobbled her up before she could say anything else.

There are 3 people standing in front of a magic mirror. The mirror gives you anything you desire if you tell it the truth, but you disappear if you lie. The first person to talk to the mirror was a very fat brunette. She walked up to the mirror and said "I think I am the thinnest person in the world." and poof, the mirror gobbled her up. The next person to come up to the mirror was a very ugly red head. She told the mirror "I think I am the prettiest person in the world" and poof, the mirror gobbled her up. Lastly came the blonde. She walked up to the mirror and said "I think..." and poof, the mirror gobbled her up.

There was a magic mirror that when you told it the truth would grant you any wish. So a blonde brunette and a redhead went to see it.

The brunette said "I think I am the most beautiful woman in the world." and then pooof, she disapeared for telling a lie.

The redhead said " I think I'm the smartest person in the world," and pooof, she disapeared.

Then the blonde said "I think..." and pooof, she disapeared.

A bruenet, a red head and a blonde walked into a shop hoping to find something outrageous and really cheap. they walk in and ask the counter person what they have on special, he replies I have an old old mirror that is for free, but it is Magic. The red head asks how it works and the shop counter says if you say something true to it you will get that times 10, but if you say a lie you will vanish forever. So they thought ok lets get it so they brought it back to their house and the bruenet walks up to it and says I think I am the most richest person in the world and she vanishes, the red head walks up to it and says I think I am the most prettiest woman in the world and vanishes, the blonde walks up to the mirror and says I think and vanishes.