Magic Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man found a magic genie who would grant him one wish. The man said to the genie," I wish that I had a non-stop bridge from here to Hawaii." The genie said," I`m sorry, but that's going to be very hard. Do you have another wish?" The man answered, "Of course! I want the power to understand all women." The genie thought for a minute. He replied, "How many platforms did you want on that bridge?"

A group of business professionals enjoyed happy hours a couple days a week in an upscale bar in the financial district.
One of them had a secret ambition to become a magician. No one would take him seriously and would poke fun at him, "how's your magic coming?" "I'm working on some things" would be his confident reply.
Suddenly the wanna-be magician doesn't show for happy hour. And again and again he didn't show. This began to worry his friends so they agreed to go look for him if he misses the next one.
Several days later they were just about to look for their missing friend when in he walks to the bar. "What, been busy with your magic?" they teased.
To their astonishment, the guy pulls a miniature man out of his pocket and puts it on the table. "Wow, that's the most amazing thing I've ever seen, I can patent that" says the lawyer.
That wasn't all. The magician next pulls out a tiny piano and the miniature man started more...

There was 3 women, a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They had to use the bathroom so they went to a supermarket. They asked the clerk where the bathroom was and he pointed to the back. As he did he said I must warn you, there is a magic mirrior in it and if you look in it and tell the truth, poof you will be surrounded by presents. If you look in it and tell a lie then you will poof away forever. The red went in first and said I think I am the prettiest of all, and poof she was surrrounded by presents. Then the brunette went in and said I think I have the prettiest hair of all, and poof she was surrounded by presents. Last the blonde went in and said, I think... and poof she went away forever.

A blonde, brunette, and red head were on top of a magic mountain. The myth of the mountain was that if you jumped off of it and yelled out what you wanted to be, you would instantly turn into it.
The brunette jumped off and said she wanted to be an Eagle, so she turned into an Eagle and flew away.
Next, the red head jumped off and said she wanted to be a cat. So, she landed on all fours and walked away.
Then the blonde got a running start, tripped over a rock, and yelled, "SHIT!"

Magic Johnson reportedly cried all night long after Barack Obama beat John McCain to become the country's first African-American president. Granted, he also had the same reaction after watching Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.

Three friends were stranded on an island. One day, a magic lamp washed ashore and a magic genie popped out. He said, "i'll
Give each of you one wish." the 1st man said "i want to go back home"... he disappeared. The 2nd man said "i also want to go
Home"... he also disappeared. The third man looked around and felt lonely. He said, "i want my 2 friends back to keep me
Company"!

An old man and woman were married for years even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screams and yelling could be heard deep into the night. A constant statement was heard by the neighbors who feared the man the most: "When I die, I will dig my way up out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"
They believed he practiced black magic and was responsible for missing cats and dogs. There were also strange sounds at all hours. The man was feared and enjoyed the respect it garnished.
One day, he died abruptly under strange circumstances, and the funeral had a closed casket. After the burial, his wife went straight to the local bar and began to party as if there was no tomorrow.
The gaiety of her actions were becoming extreme while her neighbors approached in a group to ask these questions: "Are you not afraid? Concerned? Worried? This man practiced black magic and stated that when he died, he would dig his more...