Magic Jokes / Recent Jokes

A blonde was walking down the road when she saw a beautiful looking lamp, so she picked it up. She rubbed it and a magic genie came out. "You may have any three objects in the world, oh mighty mistress," said the genie. The blonde replied, "I wish I had an endless glass of wine."
Suddenly a big, crystal glass filled with wine appeared in the blonde's hand. She drank it and to her surprise, it filled up again! "Wow! This wine is really nice, and it can't run out!" the blonde said. "In fact, it's so good, I'll have another two of these, please, genie!"

Three men are fishing. One catches a magic fish that will grant each one a wish if they let him go.
The first one wishes he could double his IQ. It is done.
The second one wishes to triple his IQ. It is done.
The last one (who is an idiot) wishes to multiply his IQ by a 1/2. The fish asks if he is sure; the man nods.
When the fish grants his wish, he turns into a blond.

Irishman finds a Genie lamp and rubs it. Out comes the Genie and asks "Master you have released me from the lamp and I grant you three wishes, what would you like" Irishman scratches his head, then answers "A bottle of Guinness that never gets empty. "Granted master" retorted the Genie and produced the bottle.

The man was delighted and got drunk on this one magic Guiness bottle for weeks then he remembered that he had two other wishes. He rubbed the lamp again and the Genie appeared. "Yes master, you have two more wishes, what would you like?" "You know that magic, never ending Guinness bottle" he asks the Genies. "Well, for my final two wishes, I'd like another two of them"

Mr Cadbury and Ms Rowntree went off for the weekend...

It was After Eight. She was from Quality Street and he was a Fishermans Friend. On the way they stopped at a Yorkie Bar. He had a Rum and Butter and she had a Wine Gum. He asked her name. She said Polo, I'm the one with the hole. But I'm the one with the Nuts he thought.

Then he touched her Milky Way. They checked in and went straight to the bedroom. Mr Cadbury turned out the light for a bit of Black Magic. It wasn't long before he slipped his hand into her Snickers and felt the contrast of her Double Deckers.

Then he showed her his Curly Wurly. But Ms Rowntree wasn't keen as she already had a few Jelly Babies, So she let him take a trip down Bourneville Boulevard.

He was pleased as he always fancied a bit of Fudge nudging. It was a Magic Moment as she let out of scream of Turkish Delight. When he came out his Fun Sized Mars Bar felt a bit Crunchie.

She wanted more but he more...

An old italian man and woman were married for years even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screams and yelling could be heard deep into the night. A constant statement was heard by the neighbors who feared the man the most. "When I die I will dig my way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!" They believed he practiced black magic and was responsible for missing cats and dogs, and strange sounds at all hours. He was feared and enjoyed the respect it garnished. He died abruptly under strange circumstances and the funeral had a closed casket. After the burial, the wife went straight to the local bar and began to party as if there was no tomorrow. The gaiety of her actions were becoming extreme while her neighbors approached in a group to ask these questions: "Are you not worried? Concerned? Afraid of this man who practiced black magic and stated when he died he would dig his way up and out of the grave to more...

This women had a magic morror from which anything you wanted you got,so one day she stood in front of the mirror and said I wish i had bigger breasts and it happened so then she ran down stairs to show her husband he was so amazed that he ran up stairs and stood infront of the mirror and said i wish my dick could touch the floor and his legs fell off!

One day a red-head, a burnette and a blond were walking on the beach when the trip over a magic mirrior.
This little face pops out at them and says if the can tell him one true thrue thing about themselves they can have anyhting they desire.
But if they lie he will turn them into a frog. So the red-head goes first,"I think I am the smartest person in the world."
The mirrior said that she could have anything she disired and she wanted a thousand dollars and she got it.
Now it was the burnettes turn and she said,"I think I am the second smartest person in the world" and the mirrior she could have anything she disired. She wanted a million dollars and she got it.
Finally it was the blondes turn. She stepped up to the mirrior and said,"Let me get this straight, all I gotta do is say one true thing about myself and then I get what ever I desire.
The mirrior said that that was correct, but if it was a lie he would turn her into a frog. She more...