Magic Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man with a 25 inch long penis goes to his doctor to complain that he is having a problem with this cumbersome instrument and has had more than one complaint. "Doctor," he asked, in total frustration, "is there anything you can do for me?" The doctor replies, "Medically son, there is nothing I can do. But, I do know this witch who may be able to help you." So the doctor gives him directions to the witch.
The man calls upon the witch and relays his story. "Witch, my penis is 25 inches long and I need help. Can anything be done to help me? You are my only hope." The witch stares in amazement, scratches her head, and then replies, "I think I may be able to help you with your problem. Do this. Go deep into the forest. You will find a pond. In this pond, you will find a frog sitting on a log. This frog has magic. You say to frog, will you marry me? When the frog says no, you will find five inches less to your problem."
The man's more...

13. Saws a gummie bear in half, then puts it back together.

12. Insists that his magic won't work if he puts his clothes back on.

11. "The Amazing Kevorkian" is scaring the Hell out of Grandma.

10. Makes a bird appear for the kids by simply raising his middle finger.

9. Replaces pulling a rabbit out of his hat with the slightly racier pulling the "big snake" out of his pants.

8. She closes her eyes, then claims to be invisible.

7. His first and only trick: The Amazing Disappearing Bottle of Jagermeister

6. During one trick, screams "Pick a freakin' card already or I swear I'll blow the little birthday boy's head off!"

5. Begins by saying his first trick "relies on the magic of sweet, sweet love."

4. His biggest trick? Converting a sixer of Coors into "liquid gold" -- eventually.

3. Smoke emanating from more than just the more...

During a recent vacation in Las Vegas, a man went to see a popular magic show. After one especially amazing feat, a man from the back of the theater yelled, "How'd you do that?"

"I could tell you, sir", the magician answered, "But then I'd have to kill you."

After a short pause, the man yelled back, "Ok, then... just tell my wife!"

This women had a magic morror from which anything you wanted you got, so one day she stood in front of the mirror and said I wish i had bigger breasts and it happened so then she ran down stairs to show her husband he was so amazed that he ran up stairs and stood infront of the mirror and said i wish my dick could touch the floor and his legs fell off!

There were three men. One of them was deaf.
Then they came across a old man. He said that soon they would come across a magic slide and when they slid down the magic slide they could wish for whatever they wanted the most. So they walked along until they came to the slide. The first man slid down it and said gold and found gold at the bottom.
The second man said silver and found silver at the bottom. The deaf man just went down the slide and said wwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeee!!!

Although they truly hated each other, a man and a woman remained married for years. Whenever they had a confrontation, screams and yelling would be heard deep into the night. The neighbors feared the man the most and would constantly hear him making the same statement to his wife, "When I die, I promise you I will dig my way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your days."
Everyone believed he practiced black magic and was responsible for strange and unexplainable sounds and disappearances in the area. He was deeply feared and thrived on the respect it garnished.
He died suddenly under strange circumstances and his casket remained closed at the funeral. After the burial, his wife went immediately to the local bar and began to party as if there was no tomorrow.
Her partying and the gaiety in her actions were becoming extreme when the neighbors, who were concerned about her, finally got together and approached her.
"Are you more...

There once was a magic Mirror and if you told it a lie you would disappear. So A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blonde tried it out.
The Brunette goes up and says, " I have the best lookin eyes in the world" And POOF. She disappeared.
The Redhead went up and said, " I have the best legs in the world" And POOF. She disappeared.
Finally the Blonde went up and said, " I think..." And POOF. She disappeared.