Magician Jokes

A young magician started to work on a cruise ship with his pet parrot. The parrot would always steal his act by saying things like, "he has a card up his sleeve" or "he has a dove in his pocket." One day the ship sank and the magician and the parrot found themselves alone on a lifeboat. For a couple of days, they just sat there looking at each other. Finally, the parrot broke the silence and said, "Okay, I give up. What did you do with the ship?"
McGee "A young man and an old man are talking.
"Do you see that barn over there?" the old man says. "I built that barn with my own bare hands in just three days. Do they call me McGee the barn builder? Oh, no, no, no."
The young man says, "Yes, sir, but... "
"And do you see that bridge over there?" says the old man. "I built that bridge with my own bare hands in just two days. Do they call me McGee the bridge builder? Oh, no, no, more...

A magician is on a cruise liner with his parrot. The parrot had seen all the magician's tricks a zillion times and had figured out, long ago, how the magician made everything in the act disappear.
The magician had started to grow stale, not developing any new tricks, and the parrot was getting bored.
One night, midway through the magician's performance, the ship hit an iceberg and sank. Everyone drowned, except the magician and his parrot. The magician managed to swim to a piece of wreckage and climb aboard, immediately collapsing from exhaustion.
A short time later, the parrot flew to the magician and perched on the edge of the piece of wreckage and stared at the magician. And stared... and stared... and stared.
For one whole day the magician was unconscious and all this time the parrot never took his eyes off him. Eventually, the magician began to stir. Looking up, he saw the parrot, still eyeing him intently, without even blinking.
An hour went by and finally, more...

A magician was employed by a Shipping Line to entertain the passengers during cruises. The captain owned a parrot which always insisted on being part of the acts put on by the magician. He would perch on the edge of the stage and screech, "He does it with a mirror" or "Hes got it up his sleeve." The magician was furious, but since the bird was a favorite with the captain and he was anxious to retain his position for future cruises, he maintained an angry silence. One evening as the magician worked, the parrot continued to harass the unfortunate man. Sadly the ship ran into a mine which had become detached from the sea floor after a storm. The explosion tore the bow off the ship which sank within a few minutes. Amid the wreckage and the lifeboats, the magician sat on one end of a table from the first class dining room. At the other end sat the parrot, dirty and disheveled, his feathers caked with f uel oil. For some time they eyed each other malevolently saying more...

Q: What's the difference between a policeman's knightstickand a magician's wand? A: A Magician's wand is for cunning stunts.

A man who worked in a cruise liner as a magician had a parrot and every time the man did a trick the parrot yelled, "it`s in the pocket," "it`s in the pocket," the magician would do another trick and the parrot yelled, "it`s in the hat", "it`s in the hat."
One day during his act the cruise liner had a problem and the ship sunk. The parrot came up from the water and looking confused said; "NOW WHERE DID HE HIDE THE SHIP."