Magician Jokes / Recent Jokes

A famous magician had a thundering finish to his act. He would fill a large bowl with shit and proceed to slurp it noisily, to the amazement of his audience.
One night he had just begun the wow finish of his act when he stopped in his tracks. "Go ahead," said the stage manager. "Eat the shit, eat the shit!"
"I just can't do it", said the magician. "There's a hair in it!"

A famous magician had a thundering finish to his act. He would fill a large bowl with shit and proceed to slurp it noisily, to the amazement of his audience.One night he had just begun the wow finish of his act when he stopped in his tracks. "Go ahead," said the stage manager. "Eat the shit, eat the shit!""I just can't do it", said the magician. "There's a hair in it!"

What did the magician say when he made his rabbit disappear? Hare today, gone tomorrow.

Magician and Parrot A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he understood he started shouting in the middle of the show: "Look, it's not the same hat" "Look, he is hiding the flowers under the table" "Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades ?" The magician was furious but couldn't do anything; it was, after all, the captain's parrot. One day the ship had an accident and sank. The magician found himself on a piece of wood in the middle of the ocean with the parrot, of course. They stared at each other with hate, but did not utter a word. This went on for a day and another and another. After a week the parrot said: "OK, I give up. Where's the boat?"

A famous magician had a thundering finish to his act. He would fill a large bowl with shit and proceed to slurp it noisily, to the amazement of his audience. One night he had just begun the wow finish of his act when he stopped in his tracks. "Go ahead," said the stage manager. "Eat the shit, eat the shit!""I just can't do it", said the magician. "There's a hair in it!"

Q: When is a farmer like a magician? A: When he turns his cow to pasture.

A magician was employed by a Shipping Line to entertain the passengers during cruises. The captain owned a parrot which always insisted on being part of the acts put on by the magician. He would perch on the edge of the stage and screech, "He does it with a mirror" or "Hes got it up his sleeve." The magician was furious, but since the bird was a favorite with the captain and he was anxious to retain his position for future cruises, he maintained an angry silence. One evening as the magician worked, the parrot continued to harass the unfortunate man. Sadly the ship ran into a mine which had become detached from the sea floor after a storm. The explosion tore the bow off the ship which sank within a few minutes. Amid the wreckage and the lifeboats, the magician sat on one end of a table from the first class dining room. At the other end sat the parrot, dirty and disheveled, his feathers caked with f uel oil. For some time they eyed each other malevolently saying more...