Magnet Jokes / Recent Jokes

How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? From a catalog.How you get down from an elephant? You don't, you get down from ducks.What city has the largest rodent population? Hamsterdam.What did God say when Joan of Arc showed up at the Pearly Gates? "Well done."What did one cloned sheep say to the other? "I am ewe."What did one magnet say to the other magnet? "I find you very attractive."What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.What did one potato chip say to the other? Shall we go for a dip? What did the painter say to the wall? "One more crack and I'll plaster you!"What do cats like on a hot day? A mice cream cone.What do cats like on their hot dogs? Mouse-tard.What do cats like to eat for breakfast? Mice Krispies.

It's a simple feat to format and reuse AOL disks... but with a little imagination, a truly useful purpose can be found for those pesky white platters invading our mailboxes and magazines.
Mini cutting board (great for the office or the car, use metal door for knife).
Attach it to a ruler and presto! - you've got a fly swatter.
Construct a life size replica of Stonehenge.
At a restaurant, shove one under a wobbling table leg.
Money clip (use the metal door and discard the plastic case... the "rich nerd" look is IN this year).
Eye patch (for one-eyed software pirates).
Christmas ornaments (the more the merrier).
Give them to young children to use as building blocks.
Glue them to the bottom of the space shuttle and use them as re-entry burn tiles.
Dentures (melt & form them into new teeth for grandma).
Room dividers for hamsters.
Drink coasters.
Use multiple disks to create an ideal door stopper.
Ice scraper.
Bathroom more...

How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? From a catalog. How you get down from an elephant? You don't, you get down from ducks. What city has the largest rodent population? Hamsterdam. What did God say when Joan of Arc showed up at the Pearly Gates? "Well done." What did one cloned sheep say to the other? "I am ewe." What did one magnet say to the other magnet? "I find you very attractive." What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved. What did one potato chip say to the other? Shall we go for a dip? What did the painter say to the wall? "One more crack and I'll plaster you!"What do cats like on a hot day? A mice cream cone. What do cats like on their hot dogs? Mouse-tard. What do cats like to eat for breakfast? Mice Krispies.

PrincessSuzy writes:

My school recently received an award for being an outstanding magnet school. The woman that presented the award said the following: "this is the best magnet school in the United States, maybe even the nation."

My friend's husband always teases her about her lack of interest in household chores.
One day he came home with a gag gift, a refrigerator magnet, that read: "Martha Stewart doesn't live here."
The next day he came home to find the magnet holding up a slip of paper.
The note read, "Neither does Bob Vila."