Mailman Jokes / Recent Jokes
What kind of dog does Count Dracula prefer?
Any bloodhound!
1st Mailman: A dog bit me on the leg this morning!
2nd Mailman: Did you put anything on it?
1st Mailman: No, he liked it plain!
My dog can bark like a congressman, fetch like an aide, beg like a press secretary and play dead like a receptionist when the phone rings.
Gerald Solomon
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
Robert Benchley
What do you call it when 3, 000 dogs and cats get sent to the pound?
A doggone catastrophe!
Who was the dogs all-time favorite comedian?
Growlcho Marx!
What is the height of bad manners?
Telling a pointer not to point.
What do you call a happy Lassie?
A jolly collie!
How do you catch a runaway dog?
Hide behind a tree and make a noise like a bone!
A little boy goes up to his father and asks: "Dad, what's the difference between hypothetical and reality?" The father replies: "Well son, I could give you the book definitions, but I feel it could be best to show you by example. Go upstairs and ask your mother if she'd have sex with the mailman for $500,000." The boy goes and asks his mother: "Mom, would you have sex with the mailman for $500,000?" The mother replies: "Hell yes I would!" The little boy returns to his father: "Dad, she said 'Hell yes I would!'" The father then says: "Okay, now go and ask your older sister if she'd have sex with her principal for $500,000." The boy asks his sister: "Would you have sex with your principal for $500,000?" The sister replies: "Hell yes I would!" He returns to his father: "Dad, she said 'Hell yes I would!'" The father answers: "Okay son, here's the deal: Hypothetically, we're millionaires, but in more...
Day 1 Dear Boudreaux, Thanks for de bird in de Pear tree. I fix it
las' night with dirty rice. I doan tink de pear tree will grow
in the swamp, so I swap it for a Satsuma.
Day 2 Dear Boudreaux, You letter say you sent two turtle doves, but
all I got was two scrawny pigeons. Anyway, I mixed dem with
andouille an made some gumbo out of dem.
Day 3 Dear Boudreaux, Why doan you sent some crawfish? I'm tired of
eating dem darn birds. I gave two of dose prissy French chickens
to Marie Trahan over at Grans Bayou an fed the tird one to my dog,
Phideaux. Marie needed some sparring partners for her fighting rooster.
Day 4 Dear Boudreaux, Mon Dieux! I tol you no more dem darn birds. Deez
four, what you call dem "calling birds" were so noisy you could hear dem
all de way to Napoleonville. I used dere necks for my crab traps, an
fed de rest of dem to de gators.
Day 5 Dear Boudreaux, You finally more...
this blonde and her husband were sittin at home watchin tv and the mailman knocks on the door and says "mailman".the blonde tells her husband and he said "fuck the maillman!!".he went upstairs and he came bac downstairs and he found her and the mailman on the couch havin sex.hahahahaha
What do you call a man with 10 rabbits up his bum?
Warren.
What do you call two Canadian lesbians in a canoe?
Fur traders.
What do you call a lesbian from Alaska?
Klondike.
What do you call an exhausted bear?
Winnie the Pooped!
What do you call an independently wealthy woman in Texas?
A divorcee.
What do you call an intelligent man in the United States?
A tourist.
What do you call Bob the Mailman after he gets fired?
Bob.
What do you call boobs on a Girl Scout?
Brownie points.
What do you call Bob the Mailman after he gets fired?
Bob.
What do you call boobs on a Girl Scout?
Brownie points.
What do you call a prostitute who works in Chicago and New York? The tail of two cities.
What do you call an Irish homosexual?
Gay-lick.
What do you call an Italian with an IQ of 180?
Sicily.
What do more...