Major Jokes / Recent Jokes

My father, an Army major, was conducting a field test when
communications went dead. Immediately, he jumped into a
jeep and ordered a sergeant to speed to the command
station.
When my father and the sergeant ran in, the group cheered
their arrival. The commanding officer then stepped forward
and shook my father's hand.
"Don't congratulate me, sir," my father said modestly as he
pointed to his driver. "It was all the sergeant's doing."
The commanding officer nodded and turned to the sergeant.
"Congratulations," he said. "The major's wife just had a baby
girl."

Army Jokes by Major Laugh

An army Major visiting the sick soldiers, went to one private and asked, “What’s your problem, Soldier? ”
“Chronic syphilis, Sir. ”
“What treatment are you getting? ”
“Five minutes with the wire brush each day. ”
“What’s your ambition? ”
“To get back to the front, Sir. ”
“Good man, ” said the Major.

He went to the next bed, “What’s your problem, Soldier? ”
“Chronic piles, Sir. ”
“What treatment are you getting? ”
“Five minutes with the wire brush each day. ”
“What’s your ambition? ”
“To get back to the front, Sir. ”
“Good man, ” barked the Major.

He moved to the next bed, “What’s your problem, Soldier? ”
“Chronic gum disease, Sir”
“What treatment are you getting? ”
“Five minutes with the wire brush each day. ”
“What’s your ambition? ”
“To get the wire brush before the other two, Sir! ”

Q: What's the major cause of divorce?
A: Once is not enough.

Q: What's the major cause of divorce? A: Once is not enough.

RECOUNT DEMANDED BY METSNEW YORK (AP) --The New York Mets announced today that they are going to court to get an additional inning added to the end of Game 5 of the World Series. The batting, pitching, and bench coaches for the Mets held a press conference earlier today. They were joined by members of the Major League Players Union. "We meant to hit those pitches from the Yankee pitchers," said the Mets batting coach. "We were confused by the irregularities of the pitches we received and believe we have been denied our right to hit." One claim specifically noted that a small percentage of the Mets batters had intended to swing at fast balls, but actually swung at curve balls. It was clear that these batters never intended to swing at curve balls, though a much higher percentage were not confused by the pitches. Reporters at the press conference pointed out that the Mets had extensively reviewed film of the Yankees pitchers prior to the World Series and had in fact more...

The major difference between death and taxes is that Congress cant make death any worse than it is.