Manhattan Jokes / Recent Jokes

A little old lady goes into the Chase Manhattan Bank, and says she wants to open a savings account. The accounts person asks her how much she would like to deposit to open the account and the little old lady says, "Three million dollars." The accounts person is startled, and says, "In what form?" and the little old lady says, "Cash. I've got it here in this bag..." and the accounts person looks and, sure enough, the lady has a big grocery bag just chock full of green stuff with big denominations. This is a highly unusual event, and the accounts person excuses herself to get the president of the bank to handle this one. He arrives, and escorts the little old lady to his office to handle it personally. Once in his office, he asks the little old lady where she got so much money. She says, "Gambling." "Gambling?", he says. "What sort of gambling?" "Oh, I make bets with people on all sorts of things, and I usually win. For more...

A little old lady walked into the head branch of the Chase Manhattan
Bank holding a large paper bag in her hand. She told the young man
at the window that she wished to take the 3 million she had in the
bag and open an account with the bank. She said that first, though,
she wished to meet the president of Chase Manhattan Bank due to the
amount of money involved.

The teller seemed to think that was a reasonable request and after
opening the paper bag and seeing the bundles of 1, 000 bills which
amounted to right around 3 million, telephoned the bank's secretary
to obtain an appointment for the lady.

The lady was escorted upstairs and ushered into the president's
office. Introductions were made and she stated that she would like
to get to know the people she did business with on a more personal
level. The bank president then asked her where she came into such a
large amount of money. "Was it an more...

A girl walks into a bar and asks for a manhattan with a plum in it.
The bartender says, "You mean a cherry."
She says, "No, I mean a plum."
The bartender says, "Look lady, I've been tending bar for 20 years and you're the first person that's ever asked for a manhattan with a plum. Where did you ever get that idea?"
She said, "Well, about 3 years ago I lost my cherry, and I've been plumb crazy ever since!"