Manipulation Jokes

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    CLINTONESQUE LANGUAGE MANIPULATION

    President Clinton has pushed the envelope of the English language to realms hitherto unchartered. Now that we know that a person can enjoy sex while not actually having sex, let's consider other situations where similar language manipulation can provide an equally convenient defense...

    * In Chicago, it isn't voter fraud unless you can prove those dead people would have voted the other way.

    * It isn't reckless driving if you get into an actual wreck.

    * You are not guilty of DUI if you were so drunk that you thought someone else was driving.

    * It is not speeding if there are still cars in front of you.

    * You are not abusing drugs if you store them in a cool, dry place and never yell at them or beat them.

    * It is not premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.

    * It isn't procrastination if you decide to postpone it right now.

    * It isn't a more...

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