Maria Jokes / Recent Jokes

As a devout Catholic, Maria doesn't use condoms with her husband. So over the
years, they have had 17 children. After the husband died, Maria remarried and
had another 22 kids with her second husband before he too dies. Eventually,
Maria's time also came.
At her wake, the priest looked tenderly at Maria lying in her coffin. Then, he
looked up into the heavens and said, "At last... they are finally together."
A man standing next to the priest looked confused and asked, "Father, what do
you mean? Do you mean Maria and her first husband? Or her second husband?"
Says the priest: "I mean her legs."

Why English Teachers Are Important: The Words are the same. Only the punctuation changes...
Dear Thomas,
I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy-will you let me be yours?
Maria
Dear Thomas,
I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be? Yours,
Maria

Maria is a devout Catholic. She gets married and has 17 children. Then herhusband dies. She remarries two weeks later, and has 22 children by hernext husband. Then he dies. A while later, she dies. At the funeral, the priest looks skyward and says, "At least they'refinally together."A guy sitting in the front row says, "Excuse me Father, but do you mean her and her first husband, or her and her second husband?"The priest says, "I mean her legs."

Maria Bartiromo tells Stephen we shouldn't have knee-jerk reactions to the Wall Street collapse.

In a Classroom the teacher asks; Maria, go to the map and find North America
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria.