Marines Jokes / Recent Jokes

How do you separate the men from the boys in the Marines? > > With a crowbar.

The following is supposedly a true story relating a situation that actually occurred in Los Angeles. The Marines were backing-up LAPD on a call that someone had broken into a store. At the scene, the cop told the Marines to "cover" him as he approched the store (to police, "cover" means to point your weapons in the direction of the threat, to Marines it means lay down a base of fire!). The Marines promptly laid down a base of fire. The Marines fired 178 rounds before they stopped shooting. The thief, probably a little scared at this point, called 911 and reported, "They're shooting at me!".

Researchers baffled
The U. S. Navy Medical Corps has concluded an extensive pharmaceutical study in which an equal number of sailors and marines were administered weekly doses of Viagra.
Researchers are at a loss to explain why all of the sailors achieved enhanced sexual prowess, while the Marines simply grew taller.
His military etiquette
Officer: Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?
Soldier: Sure, buddy.
Officer: That’s no way to address an officer! Now let’s try it again.
Do you have change for a dollar?
Soldier: No, SIR!

Three Marines were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first Marine said "those are deer tracks."The second Marine said "No, those are elk tracks."The third Marine said "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks."The Marines were still arguing when the train hit them.

Join the Marines: Visit exotic places, meet
interesting people and then kill them.

The following is supposedly a true story relating a situation that actually occurred in Los Angeles.
The Marines were backing-up LAPD on a call that someone had broken into a store.
At the scene, the cop told the Marines to “cover” him as he approched the store (to police, “cover” means to point your weapons in the direction of the threat, to Marines it means lay down a base of fire!).
The Marines promptly laid down a base of fire. The Marines fired 178 rounds before they stopped shooting.
The thief, probably a little scared at this point, called 911 and reported, “They’re shooting at me! ”.

Okay, so, two penguins were in the marines and they went to reach their guns but they werent there....so they got...APPLE PIES!