Marriages Jokes / Recent Jokes
As you know, in many areas of the country this week, voters approved referendums banning Same Sex marriages. Of course, our nation is one of many sub-cultures. Different areas have different values....
For instance, this past tuesday in San Francisco, voters aproved a referendum banning Opposite Sex Marriages.
All marriages are happy--it's the living together afterward that causes all the problems. Did you hear about the scientist whose wife had twins? He baptized one and kept the other as a control. Disclaimer: Even my wife doesn't agree with everything I say, and she loves me dearly. My employers don't love me nearly as much as she does. Draw your own conclusions. It was very good of God to let Carlyle and Mrs Carlyle marry one another and so make only two people miserable instead of four, besides being very amusing. May you be blessed with a wife so healthy and strong, she can pull the plow when your horse drops dead. May you learn to perform miracles: earn a living and marry off your daughters. May your daughters marry men of substance: gypsies with two bears. Sign in a marriage counselor's window: "Out to lunch - Think it over."The gods gave man fire and he invented fire engines. They gave him love and he invented marriage. There is no realizable power that man cannot, in more...
They say marriages are made in heaven, "well," so are lightning and thunder!
They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.
A lawyer got married to a woman who had previously been married 12 times. On their wedding night, they settled into the bridal suite at their hotel and the bride said to her new groom, "Please, promise to be gentle. I am still a virgin." This puzzled the groom, since after 12 marriages, he thought that at least one of her husbands would have been able to perform. He asked his new bride to explain the phenomenon. She responded: My first husband was a Sales Representative who spent our entire marriage telling me, in grandiose terms,' It's gonna be great!'My second husband was from Software Services; he was never quite sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he would send me documentation. My third husband was from Field Services and constantly said that everything was diagnostically OK, but he just couldn't get the system up. My fourth husband was from Educational Services, and he simply said, Those who can, do; those who can't, teach. My fifth husband was from the more...
Marriages are made in heaven. So is thunder and lightning.
All marriages are happy...it's the living together afterward that causes all the problems.