Marries Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man will pay $2 for an item that costs $1 if he wants it. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want because it's on sale. A woman worries about he future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find that man. To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and don't expect to understand her at all. Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die. Any married man can forget his past mistakes: there's no reason for two people to keep track of the same things. A woman marries a man expecting him to change, and he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting her not to change, and she does. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

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To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and try not to understand her at all.

Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

A more...

SUCCESS:
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

STYLE:
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

MONEY:
A man is a person who will pay two dollars for a one dollar item he wants.
A woman will pay one dollar for a two dollar item that she doesn''t want.

HAPPINESS:
To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

MARRIAGE EXPECTATIONS:
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn''t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won''t change and she does.

MARRIAGE DECISIONS:
Men marry because they are tired.
Women marry because they are curious.
Both are disappointed.

MARRIAGE AND THE FUTURE:
A more...

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change & she does.
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman: before marriage & after.

1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want. 2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. 3. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. 4. To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot & love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all. 5. Married men live longer than single men - but married men are a lot more willing to die. 6. Any married man should forget his mistakes - there's no use in two people remembering the same thing. 7. Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. 8. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change & she does. 9. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man more...

1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
3. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
4. To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot & love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all.
5. Married men live longer than single men - but married men are a lot more willing to die.
6. Any married man should forget his mistakes - there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
7. Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
8. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change & she does.
9. A woman has the last word in more...

1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
3. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
4. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
5. Married men live longer than single men - but married men are a lot more willing to die.
6. Any married man should forget his mistakes - there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
7. Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
8. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
9. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new more...