Marry Jokes / Recent Jokes
All marriages are happy--it's the living together afterward that causes all the problems. Did you hear about the scientist whose wife had twins? He baptized one and kept the other as a control. Disclaimer: Even my wife doesn't agree with everything I say, and she loves me dearly. My employers don't love me nearly as much as she does. Draw your own conclusions. It was very good of God to let Carlyle and Mrs Carlyle marry one another and so make only two people miserable instead of four, besides being very amusing. May you be blessed with a wife so healthy and strong, she can pull the plow when your horse drops dead. May you learn to perform miracles: earn a living and marry off your daughters. May your daughters marry men of substance: gypsies with two bears. Sign in a marriage counselor's window: "Out to lunch - Think it over."The gods gave man fire and he invented fire engines. They gave him love and he invented marriage. There is no realizable power that man cannot, in more...
Sardar selected a short girl for marry. Why?
Beacuse he remembered that his guruji told him
Musibat jitni choti ho utna hi achhi he
You can marry more money in ten minutes than you can earn in a lifetime.
In my 2nd year at University, I became fairly serious about Gabriella, a fellow student. Well, serious enough to take her home and meet my parents. My mother hated her on sight. However, in a typical bourgeois fashion, she never made comments about Gabriella that were less than totally positive. Quoting from memory, these are some of the things she said, and (in brackets), what I thought she really meant:
She's vivacious
(She's as high as a kite and a total bore)
She has a sparkling conversation
(She talks non-stop about herself, in a shrill voice)
She has an endearing accent
(Her peasant upbringing shows clearly)
She's a careful driver
(But a reckless flier, on her broomstick)
I gather she's very popular
(I gather she sleeps around a lot)
She has a trim body
(She's a carpenter's dream: flat as a board and easy to screw)
She has nice legs
(Pity about the hair)
I gather she's interested in art
(I gather she has a more...
McDonald, who was very sad, met his friend Sandy in the street.
He said to his friend, “I cannot make up my mind whether to marry a wealthy widow whom i don’t love or a poor girl whom i love very much. ”
Sandy said, “My dear friend, I advise you to listen to your heart and marry the poor girl that you love. ”
“You are right. I will marry the poor girl. ”
“In that case, can you give me the widow’s address? ”
Don't marry a tennis player - love means nothing to them.
Men should never marry a woman for her beauty alone. That is rather like buying a house just because you like the way it's painted.
My darling wife was always glum. I drowned her in a cask of rum, and so made sure that she would stay, in better spirits night and day.
My opinions are my wife's, and she says I'm damn lucky to have them.
My other wife is beautiful.
My wife and I have a perfect understanding; I don't try to run her life and I don't try to run mine.
My wife doesn't care what I do away from home, as long as I don't enjoy it.
My wife has a split personality, and I hate both of them.
My wife ran off with my best friend last week. Gawd, I miss him!
My wife says if I go fishing one more time she's going to leave me. Gosh, I'm going to miss her.
My wife submits and I obey; she always lets me have her way.
Not all men are fools. Some are bachelors.
Nowadays, the only place a single woman can find the best man is at a wedding.
One of more...