Marsh Jokes

Swampy Marsh, the young Australian father-to-be, is waiting anxiously outside the maternity ward where his wife is having their first baby. He is pacing the floor when the nurse comes out and says, "You have a little boy, Mr. Marsh, but you had better go out and have a cup of coffee, because there may be another one." Swampy turns a little pale and leaves.
Some time later he phones the hospital and is told that he the father of twins, but the nurse cautions, "There is another on the way, so call back later."
At that Swampy decides that coffee is not strong enough, so he goes to a bar and has some beer. When he phones the hospital again he is told that the third baby has arrived and a fourth is on the way. White-faced, he stumbles to the bar and orders a double scotch.
Twenty minutes later, he tries to phone again, but he is so drunk that he dials the wrong number and gets the recorded cricket game score. When they pick him up off the floor the recording more...

This article appeared in today's edition of the Toronto Sun. The "TTC" is the Toronto Transit Commission, and we usually refer to our subway trains as "the rocket".
SIZZLIN' HOTLINE DOUSED BY TTC
Whip them. Spank them. Make them ride the rocket in boy scout uniforms.
Beaten, but not bowed, transit officials say it took them no more than a day to realize a wrong number on one of their pamphlets connected riders to a well-travelled sex dominatrix.
TTC spokesman Christine Burkett said yesterday that the "Rocket Rider" guides were stripped from local transit vehicles last Monday after the number for a Spanish-language transit hotline turned out to be that for a local house of domination.
"It was a case of a typo not being caught," Burkett said. "Few noticed, but this woman was probably pretty pleased with the business you brought her," Burkett said of a Sun story which told the naughty tale of the snafu. With the fifth more...

A man distracted by a low-flying pelican and dropped cell phone drove his sports car into a marsh near Galveston. Today the man was hired as a pilot by Northwest Airlines.