Masturbated Jokes

A young couple with a box of condoms proceeded to burn some rubber.When they were finished, she discovered that there were only six condoms remaining in the box of 12, so she asked him, "What happened to the other five condoms?"His nervous reply was, "Er, I masturbated with them."Later, she then approached her male confidant friend, told him the story, and then asked him, "Have you ever done that?""Yeah, once or twice," he told her."You mean you've actually masturbated with a condom before?" she asked."Oh," he said, "I thought you were asking if I'd ever lied to my girlfriend."

A young couple with a box of condoms proceeded to do the wild thing. When they were finished, she discovered that there were only seven condoms remaining in the box of twelve, so she asked him,"What happened to the other four condoms?"
His nervous reply was, "Ummm, I masturbated with them."
Later, she then approached her male confidant friend, told him the story, and then asked him, "Have you ever done that?"
"Yeah, once or twice," he told her.
"You mean you've actually masturbated with a condom before?" she asked.
"Oh," he said, "I thought you were asking if I'd ever lied to my girlfriend."

During an hour's swimming at a municipal pool you will ingest 1/12 liter of urine.
In an average day your hands will have come into indirect contact with 15 penises (touching door handles, etc.)
Remote controls in hotels are the worst! (Always carry your Lysol spray!)
An average person's yearly fast food intake will contain 12 pubic hairs.
In a year you will have swallowed 14 insects - while you slept!
Annually you will shake hands with 6 women who have recently masturbated and failed to wash their hands.
Annually you will shake hands with 11 men who have recently masturbated and failed to wash their hands.
In a lifetime 22 nosey workmen doing work in your home, will have examined the contents of your dirty laundry basket. We won't even go into guests
snooping in your medicine cabinet.
At an average wedding reception you have a 1/100 chance of getting a cold sore from one of the guests. Mouth herpes.
Daily you will breathe in 1 liter of other more...

A young couple with a box of condoms proceeded to do the wild thing. When they were finished, she discovered that there were only six condoms remaining in the box of 12, so she asked him, "What happened to the other five condoms?" His nervous reply was, "Er, I masturbated with them." Later, she then approached her male confidant friend, told him the story, and then asked him, "Have you ever done that?" "Yeah, once or twice," he told her. "You mean you've actually masturbated with a condom before?" she asked. "Oh," he said, "I thought you were asking if I'd ever lied to my girlfriend."

A young couple with a box of condoms proceeded to do the wild
thing. When they were finished, she discovered that there were
only six condoms remaining in the box of 12, so she asked him,
"What happened to the other five condoms?"
His nervous reply was, "Er, I masturbated with them."
Later, she then approached her male confidant friend, told him
the story, and then asked him, "Have you ever done that?"
"Yeah, once or twice," he told her.
"You mean you've actually masturbated with a condom before?" she
asked.
"Oh," he said, "I thought you were asking if I'd ever lied to my
girlfriend."