Materialistic Jokes

Wanting to show off his car to his colleagues, the successful, young lawyer parked his new Lexus in front of the office. As he was getting out of it, a truck passed too closely and tore off the door on the driver's side. The lawyer immediately called 911 on his cell phone and summoned the police, who arrived within minutes.
Before the officer had the opportunity to ask any questions, the lawyer began ranting and raving hysterically. He had just picked up his new car that morning and said it would never be the same, no matter what the body shop did to it.
Shaking his head in total disbelief and disgust, the officer said to him, "It's unbelievable how materialistic you lawyers really are. You're so focused on your possessions, you haven't even noticed anything else."
"How could you possibly say such a thing?" the lawyer asked.
"Are you aware that your left arm is missing from the elbow down?" the officer replied. "It must have been torn more...

One day, there was this lawyer who had just bought a new car, and he was eager to show it off to his colleagues, when all of a sudden an eighteen wheeler came out of nowhere and took of the driver's side door with him standing right there.
"NOOO!" he screamed, because he knew that no matter how good a mechanic tried to fix it, it never would be the same. Finally, a cop came by, and the lawyer ran up to him yelling. "MY JAGUAR DOOR WAS JUST RUINED BY SOME FOOLISH DRIVER!!!" he exclaimed.
"Your a lawyer aren't you?" asked the policeman. "Yes, I am, but what does this have to do with my car?!?!" the lawyer asked.
"HA! Your lawyers are always so materialistic. All you care about is your possessions. I bet you didn't even notice that your left arm is missing did you?" the cop said.
The lawyer looked down at his side and exclaimed "MY ROLEX!"
The girl snapped up the package, pointed to the old geezer more...