Maths Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: How many maths students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 20. One to change it and the rest to watch and discuss how exciting it is.
UNDER CONTROL
Ladies hostel caught Fire. It took 1 hour to bring the fire under control and another 3 hours to bring the firemen under control.
SLEEP WITH ME
Wife: If I sleep with your best friend what will be the first thought to come in your mind?
Husband: that you are a lesbian.
SWEET TASTE
Why did they stop printing Pamela Anderson stamps in the U. S? ??
Because the people started licking the wrong side!
SIMPLE MATHS
How do you teach a girl maths? Add a bed, subtract her clothes, divide her legs, enter your square root, leave your solution and hope she doesn't multiply!
ON FIRE! !
Lady: "I want a good vibrator" Salesman: "Ma'am! you may select one from our range that is displayed on that wall" Lady: "O. K. I'll take that red one"
Salesman: "Sorry, that's our fire-extinguisher";
What did the maths homework website say to the geometry website? Boy do we have problems.
Once a maths teacher in the assembly told the boys "stand in straight circles"!
For all those serious Maths buffs... lemmas and theorems!
1. Lemma: All horses are of the same colour.
Proof (by induction):
Case n=1: In a set with only one horse, it is obvious that all horses in that set are the same colour.
Case n=k: Suppose you have a set of k+1 horses. Pull one of these horses out of the set, so that you have k horses. Suppose that all of these horses are the same colour. Now put back the horse that you took out, and pull out a different one. Suppose that all of the k horses now in the set are the same colour. Then the set of k+1 horses are all the same colour. We have k true => k+1 true; therefore all horses are of the same color.
2. Theorem: All horses have an infinite number of legs.
Proof (by intimidation):
Everyone would agree that all horses have an even number of legs. It is also well-known that horses have forelegs in front and two legs in back. 4 + 2 = 6 legs, which is certainly an odd number of legs for a horse to have! Now more...