Maths Jokes / Recent Jokes

what did the maths teacher do when he got constapation?
worked it out with a pencil

Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Pigs = eat + sleep
Hence, Human = Pigs + work + enjoy
If, Human - enjoy = Pigs + work
In other words,
Human that don't know enjoy = pigs that work
Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Pigs = eat + sleep
Hence, Men = Pigs + earn money
If Men - earn money = Pigs
In other words,
Men that don't earn money = Pigs
Women = eat + sleep + spend
Pigs = eat + sleep
Hence,
Women = Pigs + spend
If, Women - spend = Pigs
In other words,
Women that don't spend = Pigs
Summary:
Men earn money not to let women become pigs!
Women spend not to let men become pigs!
Men + Women = 2 Pigs
Wish all the pigs to be happy forever.. .. thats Maths!!!

Yesterday I was having some work done on my car at the Ford dealer. Woman joke 710 maths
While I was talking to Bert, the Mechanic, a woman came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten.... We all looked at each other, and the Bert asked, `What is a seven-hundred-ten?`
She replied, `You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine. I lost it and need a new one. It had always been there.` 710 - New female maths
Bert gave the woman a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710. He then took her over to another car which had the hood up and asked, `Is there a 710 on this car? `
She pointed and said, `Of course, its right there.

A young man tutored his sweetheart maths,
he thought of it as his mission,
he kissed her once then once again and said
"There, that's addition!"
She took it upon herself to return the pleasant action,
she kissed once and once again,
smiled and said "and that's subtraction!"
Now she'd learned the basics without too much complication,
they kissed each other once, then twice,
and said "that must be multiplication!"
Meanwhile the young lady's father
had this' lesson' in his vision,
he kicked that boy ten foot out the door and said
"Then that is long division!"

there was a guy that stutters and he was not good at maths he went 2 the bank looking for a job and the boss said are u good at maths and he said no so the boss said i cant give you the job so he went home and the next day came so he was looking for a job again so he 2 the construction site and they had a job for him so he went 2 the top of the building and there was a guy waiting for him so they started talking 2 each other and the construction guy said do you want earn some money and the new guy said yes how so the constuction guy said watch so he did and the man got a brick and threw it off the buildingand yelled out falling brick and the man came up and said thanks 4 saving me and gave him $50 he did it agin and got given $100 and again and got $200 and then said you have a turn so he got a brick and dropped it and said fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff fuck i hit him