Mating Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: What is every blonde's ambition in life? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.Q: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears? A: Trying to hold on to a thought.Q: What is the mating call of the blonde? A: "I'm "sooo" drunk!" Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde? A: (Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!"Q: Why are there so few blonde pharmacists? A: They have a hard time getting the pill bottles into the typewriter! Q: Why can't blondes make ice cubes? A: They always forget the recipe.Q: Why did the blonde resolve to have only three children? A: Because she heard that one child out of every four born was Chinese.Q: Why do all blondes all have a dimple on their chin and a flat forehead? A: Finger on chin-I don't know. Hits forehead-Oh I get it! Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces? A: From eating with forks.Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids? A2: So that when they're on the more...
A mother and her seven year old are walking by the park, and they see two squirrles mating.The little girl asks "Mommy what are they doing."The mother replies "They are baking a cake."
A few days later they walk by the park and they see two dogs mating, The daughter asks if they are baking a cake to?
The mother replies yes.
The next morning the daughter comes up to her mom and says "Mommy I saw you and Daddy baking a cake last night and I licked the icing off"
Why do blondes have T. G. I. F. printed on each shoe?
"Toes Go In First."
What is the mating call of a blonde?
"I think I'm getting drunk"
What is the mating call of the brunette?
"Is the blonde bitch gone yet?"
What do blondes say after sex?
"Who were those men?"
Why do blondes wear panties?
"To keep their ankles warm!"
How do blondes turn on the lights after sex?
"Open the car door!"
What does a blonde have in common with an airplane?
"They both have a black box."
What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
"Goes Home."
What does a blonde wear behind her ears to attract men?
"Her ankles!"
What do you call a blonde with a dollar over her head?
"All You Can Eat, Under a Dollar!"
What does a blonde have in common with a turtle?
"If they end up on their back, they're more...
A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was.
Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.
"Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked.
"They're mating," her father replied.
"What do you call the spider on top, Daddy?" she asked.
"That's a Daddy Longlegs," her father answered.
"So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked.
"No," her father replied. "Both of them are Daddy Longlegs."
The little girl thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped them flat.
"Well, we're not having any of that shit in our garden."
Little Lucy was playing in the garden when she spotted two spiders mating. "Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?"
"They're mating, Lucy." he replied.
"What do you call the spider on top Daddy?" Lucy asked.
"Oh, that's a Daddy Longlegs."
Lucy asked, "Oh, so one's a Daddy Longlegs and the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?"
Daddy replied, "No, both of them are Daddy Longlegs."
Lucy thought for a moment, then took her foot and stamped them flat. "Well, we're not having THAT sort of thing in our garden!!"
What is the brunette’s mating call?
When is that blonde bitch going to leave!?