Mayor Jokes / Recent Jokes
Which Lord Mayor of London was always on the Internet? Click Whittington
On December 16th, former Washington D.C. mayor Marion Barry was stopped by Park Police and arrested for driving with a suspended license.
Police also charged Barry with wearing white after Labor Day.
Barry is considering suing the government saying he was humiliated and severely inconvenienced.
After a brief look at the kind of year Barry's had..
November 14, 2006: Barry Pleads Not Guilty To DUISeptember 11, 2006: Marion Barry Detained By PoliceAugust 7, 2006: Barry Facing More Legal WoesMay 12, 2006: Police: Former Mayor Fails Field Sobriety TestMarch 9, 2006: Marion Barry Sentenced On Tax ChargesFebruary 27, 2006: Barry Shows Off Gasifier MachineFebruary 8, 2006: Federal Judge Postpones Barry SentencingFebruary 7, 2006: Marion Barry Heads Back To CourtJanuary 11, 2006: Marion Barry Fails Drug TestPark Police said they would counter-sue saying it was really inconvenient to have to lock this knucklehead up every other month.
Actual statements from Hizzoner Mayor Marion Barry of Washington, DC.
"The contagious people of Washington have stood firm against diversity during this long period of increment weather."
"I promise you a police car on every sidewalk."
"If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very very low crime rate."
"First, it was not a strip bar, it was an erotic club. And second, what can I say? I'm a night owl."
"Bitch set me up."
"I am clearly more popular than Reagan. I am in my third term. Where's Reagan? Gone after two! Defeated by George Bush and Michael Dukakis no less."
"The laws in this city are clearly racist. All laws are racist. The law of gravity is racist."
"I am making this trip to Africa because Washington is an international city, just like Tokyo, Nigeria or Israel. As mayor, I am an international symbol. Can you deny that to Africa?"
"People more...
There's this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, "If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I'll quit!"
Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say they had "fallen." This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well, until the priest died at a ripe old age.
About a week after the new priest arrived, he visited the mayor of the town and seemed very concerned.
The priest said, "You have to do something about the sidewalks in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep talking about having fallen."
The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had told the new priest about the code word.
Before the mayor could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at the mayor and said, "I don't know what you're laughing about, more...
An old priest got sick of everyone in his parish confessing adultery. During one Sunday's sermon he told them, "If one more person confesses to adultery, I'll quit!"Since everyone liked him, they decided to use a code word: "fallen." From then on, anyone who had committed adultery said they had "fallen." This satisfied the old priest and the parishioners, and everything was fine for years, until finally the old priest passed away at the ripe old age of 93. Shortly after the new young priest settled in, he paid a call on the mayor. The priest was quite concerned. "You have to do something about the sidewalks in this town, Mayor. You can't believe how many people come into the confessional talking about having fallen!"The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had explained their code word to the new priest. But before the mayor could explain, the priest shook his finger at the mayor and said -"I don't know why you're laughing; your more...
PLEASE ENGAGE BRAIN BEFORE SPEAKINGWhenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff. - - Mariah CareyQuestion: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever. - - Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss Universe contestResearchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana.... The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are. - - Matt Lauer on NBC's Today show, August 22I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law. - - David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes. Smoking kills. If you're more...
There's this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parishwho kept confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said,"If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I'll quit!" Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someonewho had committed adultery would say they had "fallen." This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well, until thepriest died at a ripe old age. About a week after the new priestarrived, he visited the mayor of the town and seemed very concerned. The priest said, "You have to do something about the sidewalks intown. When people come into the confessional, they keep talking abouthaving fallen." The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had told the newpriest about the code word. Before the mayor could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger atthe mayor and said, "I don't know what you're laughing about, yourwife fell three times this week."