Mcdonald Jokes / Recent Jokes
In case you missed the article, someone found a condom in a McDonald's hamburger recently. Here's David Letterman's explanation in his Top 10 format
Top Ten List... McDonald's excuses for the condom in the Big Mac
10. We were test marketing the new' 'McTrojan''
9. Condom, Condiment - what's the damn difference
8. It still tastes better than the Arch Deluxe
7. It was either there or in the vanilla shake
6. Turns out the rumors about Grimace and Mayor McCheese are true
5. We're experimenting with a new even happier Happy Meal
4. So what - a regular Big Mac is 60% latex anyway
3. Employees too embarrassed to say' 'Would you like condoms with that''
2. Drive-thru speaker broken-''Coke with lots of ice'' sounded like' 'Prophylactic device''
1. When you're serving billions and billions, you can't be too careful.
In The Beginning, God created the Heaven and the Earth. And the Earth was without form, and void, And darkness was upon the face of the deep.
And the Devil said, "It doesn't get any better than this."
And so God created Man in His own image; Male and female He created them.
And God looked upon Man and Woman And saw that they were lean and fit. And God populated the earth With broccoli and cauliflower and spinach And green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, So Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
And so the Devil created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the 79-cent double cheeseburger. And the Devil said to Man, "You want fries with that?"
And Man said, "Super size them." And Man gained five pounds.
And so God created the healthful yogurt, That Woman might keep her figure. But the Devil brought forth chocolate. And Woman gained five pounds.
And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad." And the Devil more...
In the beginning, God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and
spinach, green and yellow vegetable of all kinds, so Man and
Woman would live long and healthy lives.
And Satan created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the
99-cent double-cheeseburger. And Satan said to Man, "You want
fries with that?"
And Man said, "Super size them." And Man gained pounds.
And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her
figure that man found so fair.
And Satan brought forth chocolate. And woman gained pounds.
And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad."
And Satan brought forth ice cream. And woman gained pounds.
And God said, "I have sent your heart healthy vegetables and
olive oil with which to cook them."
And Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak so big it needed
its own platter.
And Man gained pounds and his bad cholesterol went through the
roof.
And God more...
Q: What's the difference between blondes and McDonald's?
A: A blonde serves more people in a night.
Driving through Oklahoma, my husband and I went out of our way to stop at what was billed as the largest McDonald's in the world. However, we were less than thrilled when an employee addressed everyone over the intercom: "Attention, world's largest McDonald's customers."
A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spends $15,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home, she stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 32," is the reply.
"Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman says happily. A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the very same question.
The girl replies, "I'd guess about 29." The woman replies with a big smile, "Nope, I'm 50."
Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk this burning question.
The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30."
Again she proudly responds, "I'm 50, but thank you!"
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her more...