Mcdonalds Jokes / Recent Jokes

A recent food study shows the healthiest fast food fries are McDonalds. In other news, for the first time in US history, the words "healthy" and "McDonalds" appeared in the same sentence.

A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the result. On his way home he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 35," was the reply.
"I'm actually 47," the man says, feeling really happy. After that he goes into McDonalds for lunch, and asks the order taker the same question, to which the reply is, "Oh you look about 29".
"I am actually 47" This makes him feel really good.
While standing at the bus stop he asks an old woman the same question. She replies, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a mans age. If I put my hand down your pants and play with your balls for ten minutes I will be able to tell your exact age."
As there was no one around, the man thought what the hell and let more...

-------------------------------------------------------------
Are you a "Bachelor"?
Old days when someone refused to fight they called him a coward, now they call him a "Bachelor".
-------------------------------------------------------------
McDonalds
Do you know what you get with a hamburger at McDonalds?... Extra "Flies"
-----------------------------------------------------------
Orange! !!!
Do you know why an Orange left in the middle of the traffic?
Because it ran out of " JUICE"
------------------------------------------------------------
udurawana joke
When Polgolla dam was building Udurawana went to inspect the progress. There he met the chief engineer, an American, and went around the site. After several hours they both were very thirsty and decided to have something drink. Then the American took a Fanta from the refrigerator and Udurawana took a Coke. After a zip, the American more...

you might be a red neck if you go to mcdonalds and order a dollar fry when you only have $0.99

Due to an E. coli scare, Americans are being warned not to eat spinach. The average American, when reached for comment at a McDonald's, asked, "What's spinach?"

A 47-year-old man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He really likes it. He was heading toward McDonalds when he stopped and asked a man, "excuse me for asking, but, what age do I look like?" The man says, "To me, you look 35." The guy says, "Really! I'm actually 47!" and walks to on.
Once he gets to McDonalds, he asks the orderer the same question. The orderer says, "To me, you look 29." The guy says, "Really! I'm actually 47!" and then leaves.
At the bus stop, he asks an old lady the same question. She says, "I'm 87, my eye sight isn't that well. Although, I can tell your age by having my hand down your pants for 10 minutes." The guy sees no one around and says what the hell and lets her...
...after ten minutes, she takes her hand out and says, "Alright, you're 47." The guy is surprised and says, "WOW! How did you know?" The old woman says, "I was standing behind you at more...