Mcdonalds Jokes / Recent Jokes
More than a quarter of young adults are apparently unable to meet physical requirements to join the military, because they're too heavy. The only thing they'll fight for is the front of the McDonald's line.
A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really great about the result. On his way home he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper.
Before leaving he says to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 35," was the reply.
"I'm actually 47," the man says, feeling really happy.
After that he goes into McDonalds for lunch, and asks the order taker the same question, to which the reply is, "Oh you look about 29".
"I am actually 47!" This makes him feel really good. While standing at the bus stop he asks an old woman the same question. She replies, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a man's age. If I put my hand down your pants for ten minutes I will be able to tell your exact age."
As there was no one around, the man thought what the hell and let her slip more...
A Michigan woman who has visited a McDonald's for fifteen years received a surprise party at the restaurant on her 100th birthday. Things unfortunately got awkward when Ronald McDonald accidentally made balloon animals out of her long, saggy breasts.
A McDonald's in California is using feng shui in the restaurant.
It's the first time the chain has used Chinese culture since they offered customers a "happy ending meal."
Coincidentally, one hundred years is just how old the burger was she ate during the party.
McDonalds has announced it’s coming out with a healthier low-calorie happy meal. The new low-calorie happy meal is great for parents who want their child to be the 2nd fattest kid in class.