Mcdonalds Jokes / Recent Jokes

How many McDonalds counter girls does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change it and one to put some chips with it.

The rest of the patrons were taking the slower cholesterol, obesity, heart attack approach to death.

A
man decides to have a face-lift for his birthday.
He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the
results. On his way home, he stops at a newsstand
and buys a paper.
Before leaving, he says to the sales clerk, "I
hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you
think I am?" "About 35," was the
reply. "I'm actually 47," the man says,
feeling really happy. After that, he goes into
McDonalds for lunch and asks the clerk the same
question. The reply is, "Oh, you look about
29". "I am actually 47."
Later, while standing at a bus stop, he asks an
old woman the same question. She replies, "I
am 85 years old, and my eyesight is going. But
when I was young, there was a sure way of telling
a man's age. If I put my hand down your pants and
play with your balls for 10 minutes, I will be
able to tell you your exact age."
As there was no one around, the man more...

A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday. She spends $5000 and feels really good about the result. On her way home she stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving she says to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?" About 35 was the reply.
"I'm actually 47," the woman says happily.A little while later she goes to McDonalds for lunch and asks the order taker the same question, to which the reply is, "I'd guess that you're 29?" "Nope, I am actually 47."She's starting to feel real good about herself. While standing at the bus stop she asks an old man the same question. He replies, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a woman's age. If I put my hand down your pants and play with your fanny for ten minutes I will be able to tell your exact age."As there was no one else around the woman thought what the hell and more...

A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday.
She spent $5000 and felt really good about the results.
On her way home she stopped at a dress shop to look around. As she was leaving, she said to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 35," was the reply.
"I'm actually 47," the woman said, feeling really happy.
After that she went into McDonalds for lunch and asked the order taker the same question. He replied, "Oh, you look about 29."
"I am actually 47!" she said, feeling really good.
While standing at the bus stop she asked an old man the same question. He replied, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a woman's age. If I put my hand up your skirt I will be able to tell your exact age."
There was no one around, so the woman said, "What the hell?" and let him slip his more...

An assistant coach for the Dallas Cowboys is suing a local McDonalds restaurant after his wife found a rat in a salad she started eating after they arrived home.
The spokesperson from McDonalds said "Yeah, and?" "This IS McDonalds. We're not Applebee's or anything."
This was the wide receivers coach that was caught on film having a verbal altercation with tumultuous wide receiver Terrell Owens. When Owens was asked his comment on the rat/salad incident he replied:
"McDonalds, I'm lovin' it."

Food Ideas Rejected By McDonalds:

Chicken McBobbitts

Salmon McNella

Tom & Roseanne "Together Forever" Value Meal

Shirley McLean Burger

McMenudo

Filet o' Gefilte Fish

Way Too Happy Meal

Lion King Hairball Happy Meal

Them Ain't Nuggets!

McKitty Sandwich

Boutrous Boutrous Burger



Rocky Mountain McOysters

McSpleen

The Depressed Meal

Filet O' Flesh

McShrooms

Bob Barker's Happy Pants Meal

McTonya Club Sandwich

Grumpy Meal, Dopey Meal, and Sneezy Meal