Medal Jokes / Recent Jokes

Girl: "What Did You Get That Little Medal For?"
Boy: "For Singing."
Girl: "What Did You Get The Big One For?"
Boy: "For Stopping."

Does it seem strange to you that the Olympics, the oldest and most famous sporting event, is the one televised event that the competitors don't get cash. In fact, if you have ever made any money at all of your sport, you are disqualified. Its like, you win a gold medal and your like "So, what's my reward?" and they're like "this nice shiny medal." "you mean I don't get any money at all?" "no we frown upon that." "so I wasted a week of my life for nothing?" "but you get this shiny medal" "but-" "SHINY!" I tell you that medal would be on e-bay so fast. And did you ever notice how they have a count of what countries have the most medals? The U.S. always wins but then again, we're like 49 countries for the price of 1. Wyoming doesn't count towards our athletes because lets face it, smoky bears not gettin' any younger. You know, the Olympics always managed to keep the old traditions alive like lighting the more...

George represented his country in wrestling at the Olympics and did really well…made his way right to the gold medal round. To win the gold, all he had to do was fight a large Russian guy (a real bear at 300lbs of muscle). The fight was fierce. The Russian had George tied in knots. It was so painful that most people, including George’s trainers couldn’t even watch.
All of a sudden George’s trainers heard the crowd yelling GEORGE GEORGE GEORGE. When they turned around there was the Russion knocked out on the mat, and George was running towards them with a gold medal around his neck. The trainers yelled, GEORGE WHAT HAPPENED, HE HAD YOU.
Didn’t he though smirked George with a grin. I though he had me to cos’ I was all tied up in knots. But then out of the corner of my eye I spotted a big set of n*ts (ie. testicals). I was able to jerk up and give them a big chomp.
GEEZE, said George, IT’S FUNNY THE STRENGTH YOU GET WHEN YOU CHEW YOUR OWN N*TS

What's better than winning a gold medal at the Para-Olympics? Having arms and legs.