Medium Jokes / Recent Jokes

Grandma took her grandson Junior to a seance. The medium was supposed to be quite an expert at communicating with the spirits of the recently departed. Soon the medium had everyone quietly, nervously, breathlessly awaiting contact with the spirit world - except Junior.
"I wanna talk to my grandpa!" he demanded.
The medium and Grandma tried to get him to be quiet, but he insisted. "I wanna talk to my grandpa!"
Finally, the medium snapped "All right, kid, look over there! There's your grandpa!" and with a wave of her hand, a ghostly-looking figure appeared.
"Hi, Gramps!" called Junior. "What are you doing here? You ain't dead."

A keen Texas lad applied for a salesman's job at a city department store. The store was the biggest in the world and sold everything under the sun.

"Have you ever been a salesman before?" the boss asked during his interview.

"Yes, I was a salesman in Texas," the lad answered.

The boss took an immediate liking to him and told him he could start the next day. "I'll come and see how you made out after we close up," the boss said.

The day was long and hard for the young man, but finally it was 5 o'clock. The boss closed up the store and found the lad sitting, slumped and exhausted, in a chair. "How many sales did you make today?" the boss asked.

"One," said the lad.

"One?" said the boss, obviously displeased. "Most of the sales people on my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale worth?"

"Exactly $101,334.53," said the more...

Three bulls, one large, one medium, and one small, were standing in the pasture and had just heard a rumor that the farmer had just bought a new, larger bull.
The largest of the three said, "Well, he ain't getting none of my cows."
The medium bull said, "He ain't getting none of my cows."
The little bull said, "Well, if he ain't getting any of your's, them he sure as hell ain't getting one of mine."
Two days later, a semi pulls into the yard, and they unload the new bull. He's big and pissed from having been cooped up for the long journey. When the three bulls see him, the biggest bull says, "He can have my cows," the medium bull says, "He can have mine, too." The littlest bull, however, begins to paw the ground, snort and bellow, and basically carry on.
"What's with you?" the other two asked. "I'm just showing him I ain't a cow!" answered he.

A keen country lad applied for a salesman's job at a city department store. In fact it was the biggest store in the world - you could get anything there. The boss asked him, "Have you ever been a salesman before?" "Yes, I was a salesman in the country" said the lad. The boss liked the cut of him and said, "You can start tomorrow and I'll come and see you when we close up." The day was long and arduous for the young man, but finally 5 o'clock came around. The boss duly fronted up and asked, "How many sales did you make today?". " One," said the young salesman." Only one," blurted the boss, "Most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale worth?" "Three hundred thousand dollars," said the young man." How did you manage that?" asked the flabbergasted boss." Well," said the salesman, "this man came in and I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium hook and finally a more...

A keen country lad applied for a salesman's job at a city department store. In fact it was the biggest store in the world - you could get anything there.
The boss asked him, "Have you ever been a salesman before?"
"Yes, I was a salesman in the country" said the lad.
The boss liked the cut of him and said, "You can start tomorrow and I'll come and see you when we close up."
The day was long and arduous for the young man, but finally 5 o'clock came around. The boss duly fronted up and asked, "How many sales did you make today?".
"One," said the young salesman.
"Only one," blurted the boss, "Most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale worth?"
"Three hundred thousand dollars," said the young man.
"How did you manage that?" asked the flabbergasted boss.
"Well," said the salesman, "this man came in and I sold him a small fish more...

A keen country lad applied for a salesman's job at a city department store. In fact it was the biggest store in the world - you could get anything there.The boss asked him, "Have you ever been a salesman before?""Yes, I was a salesman in the country" said the lad.The boss liked the cut of him and said, "You can start tomorrow and I'll come and see you when we close up."The day was long and arduous for the young man, but finally 5 o'clock came around. The boss duly fronted up and asked, "How many sales did you make today?"."One," said the young salesman."Only one," blurted the boss, "Most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale worth?""Three hundred thousand dollars," said the young man."How did you manage that?" asked the flabbergasted boss."Well," said the salesman, "this man came in and I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium hook and finally a really more...

A keen Texas lad applied for a salesman's job at a city department store.
The store was the biggest in the world and sold everything under the sun.
"Have you ever been a salesman before?" the boss asked during his interview.
"Yes, I was a salesman in Texas," the lad answered.
The boss took an immediate liking to him and told him he could start the next day.
"I'll come and see how you made out after we close up," the boss said.
The day was long and hard for the young man, but finally it was 5 o'clock. The boss closed up the store and found the lad sitting, slumped and exhausted, in a chair.
"How many sales did you make today?" the boss asked.
"One," said the lad.
"One?" said the boss, obviously displeased. "Most of the sales people on my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale worth?"
"Exactly $101,334.53," said the young man.
"How did you more...