Meeting Jokes / Recent Jokes

One Day My Wife Had a Parent Teachers Meeting. But 2 Days Before, Her Six Year Old Sons Class Had to Write a Sentence With The "Word" Glass In It. Now My Wife Made Bottled Jams, Using Mason Jar Bottles.She Would Clean One Out To Drink Water From It & Lay It By The Tap. So The Day Of The Parent Teachers Meeting, She was Walking Into The Main Door & Notice The Teachers & Parents Looking At The Main Board In The Hall & Laughting At my Wife Coming Towards Them.Wondering What All The fuss Was About, She Notice An 8x10 Piece of Paper On The Board.
This Is What It Read:
My Mom No Longer Drinks From A Glass,
She now Drinks From The Bottle...
This Is A True Story>>>>

A software engineer, hardware engineer and departmental manager were on their way to a meeting in Switzerland. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes failed. The car careened out of control, bouncing offguard rails until it miraculously ground to a scraping halt along the mountainside. The occupants of the car were unhurt, but they had a problem. They were stuck halfway down the mountain in a car with no brakes.
"I know" said the manager. "Let's have a meeting, propose a Vision, formulate a Mission Statement, define some Goals, and through a process of Continuous Improvement, find a solution to the Critical Problems and we'll be on our way."
"No," said the hardware engineer. "I've got my Swiss army knife with me. I can strip down the car's braking system, isolate the fault, fix it, and we'll be on our way."
"Wait," said the software engineer. "Before we do anything, shouldn't we push the more...

Members of a health club were having their first meeting. The director of the group said, "Now, I'd like each of you to give the facts of your daily routine."
Several people spoke, admitting their excesses, and then one obviously overweight member said, "I eat moderately, I drink moderately, and I exercise frequently."
"Hmm?" said the director. "And are you sure you have nothing else to add?"
"Well, yes," said the member. "I lie extensively."

One Point Dares:Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
Leave your fly open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way".
Walk sideways to the photocopier.
While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.
When in elevator with one other person, tap them on the shoulder and pretend it wasn't you.
Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy..."
Don't use any punctuation.
Interrupt your conversation with someone by giving a huge dejected sigh.
Use your highlighter pen on the computer screen. Three Point Dares:Say to your boss, "I like your style", wink, and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers.
Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle.
Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
Every time you more...

There was a dispute in between the newly married couple. After the' chikchik' they had to decided not to talk to each other. They just started writing down there requirement on the paper and put on the dining table. The other will see and do watever is there in that paper. One day the husband came in night and wrote on the paper, " i have to attend the meeting in office early in the morning by 7 am. So wake up me at 5 am and dont miss it " the next morning when he woke up he seen the watch and found its 9 am. He became very angry and wished to scold his wife. Thinking so, he came towards the dining table, what he found, u know? A paper on which it was written "its 5 am now. U have to attend the meeting at 7 am in ur office. So get up and be ready" hahahahha

The following announcements actually appeared in various church bulletins. Don't let worry kill you -- let the church help. Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs. The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer. This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends. Tuesday at 4:00 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early. Wednesday the ladies liturgy will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing "Put me in my little bed" accompanied by the pastor. Thursday at 5:00 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All ladies wishing to be "Little Mothers" will meet with the Pastor in his study. This being Easter more...

Stand up and act indignant. Demand that the boss tell you the `real` reason this meeting has been called. Spill coffee on the conference table. Produce a little paper boat and sail it down the table. During a meeting, each time the boss makes an important point, (or at least one he/she seems to consider important), make a little noise like you are building up to an orgasm. Stay behind as everyone else, including the boss, leaves. Thank them for coming. Give a broad wink to someone else at the table. In time, wink at everyone. Sometimes shake your head just a little, as if to indicate that the speaker is slightly crazy and everybody knows it. Arrange to have a poorly-dressed young woman with an infant quietly enter the meeting, stare directly at the (male) speaker for a while, burst into tears, then leave the room. Bring a hand puppet, preferably an animal. Ask it to clarify difficult points. When there is a call for questions, lean back in your chair, prop your feet up on the table, more...