Melissa Jokes / Recent Jokes

Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day.



"Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint and we're Jewish," she asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?"



Melissa's father thinks a bit, then says "No, I don't think God will get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?"



"Osama Bin Laden," she says.



"Why Osama Bin Laden," her father asks.



"Well," she says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a

lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how more...

Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day. "Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint and we're Jewish," she asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?" Melissa's father thinks a bit, then says "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?" "Osama Bin Laden," she says. "Why Osama Bin Laden," her father asks in shock. "Well," she says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore." Her father's heart swells and he looks at his more...

A girl named Melissa was having a birthday party with her friends. One of her friends gives her this most annoying, screaming and loud singing bird as a funny gift. Melissa's dad says "We are not keeping that bird, you know that, right?" Melissa says, "Please, it's so cute. I'll put it in my room." The dad says that he will think about it. That night, Melissa asks her dad if it is OK to keep the singing bird. Her dad says "I'm still not sure. I'll have to sleep on it." Melissa says "No. Don't break it. Besides, won't it be more comfy if you slept in your bed?"

Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day. "Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint and we're Jewish," she asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?" Melissa's father thinks a bit, then says "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?""Osama Bin Laden," she says. "Why Osama Bin Laden," her father asks in shock. "Well," she says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore."Her father's heart swells and he looks at his more...

An overly protective father of two very beautiful blonde teenagers, was out with his wife, at the movies, for her birthday. His wife decides to watch one of those boring, romance movies. He agrees, and takes her, but while they are there, doesn't watch the movie at all. Instead, he is looking around the movie for anything to interest him, when he looks upon his oldest daughter, Melissa, who is 15. She was making "love" to her boyfriend. He tells his wife, and she said to ingnore it, and they'll deal with it when they get home. So, instead of making his wife mad on her birthday, he ignores it and looks for something else to watch. On the other side of the room, he sees his 13 year old daughter, Jessica, with her boyfriend, doing the same thing. He tells his wife, and once again, she says to ignore it. After the movie, he goes home, and thinks about the punishment he should give them. He finally comes to a solution. He quickly runs to his daughters room, and finds her more...