Boyfriends Jokes

There once was a very morbid girl who had three different boyfriends. She also had a home with three different closets. One of the closets contained old panties, another contained old bras, but the nastiest of all was a storage for used tampons.
One day, she took one of her boyfriends into the closet with all of the old panties, had sex with him, and suddenly locked him in the closet. She left him in the closet screaming for two weeks before he died of thirst and hunger. She did the same with another boyfriend, except this time in the closet with all of the old bras.
It was all going to be a routine for her to do this to the third boyfriend in the closet with the old tampons. However, when she returned a month later to make a deposit to her stash, she found the man alive and well in her closet.
With utter amazement and dismay, no doubt, she asked " How in thee FUCK are you still alive??!!"
The boyfriend cheerily replied " I couldn't have survived if more...

There are these three girls and their boyfriends all have the same name. So in order to keep them from getting confused, they decided to give their boyfriends nicknames. So they asked the first girl what she called her boyfriend. And she says, "I call my man 7-up." They ask her," Why do you call your man that," and she says," Because he's seven inches long and is always up. They ask the second girl what she calls her man. She says," I call my man Mountain Dew." They ask," Why do you call your man that," and she says," Because he likes to Mount me and to Do me." They ask the third girl the same thing and she says, "I like to call my man Jack Daniels." They look at her puzzled and say," Why do you call your man that, Jack Daniels is a Hard Liquor," and she says, "Exactly."

Three women sitting in a bar having a drink. Their boyfriends are all named Georgie.

One day they decide to name their boyfriends after softdrinks to tell the difference between them.

The first one says "I'll name mine 7-up because he's seven inches and always up."

The second one says "I'll name mine MOUNTAIN DEW because he likes to mount and do me."

And the third one says "I'll name mine Jack Daniels."

The others say "Hey! That's not a softdrink that's a hard licker!".

She says "That's My Georgie!!"

Judi and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends.Brunette: Last night I had *three* orgasms in a row! Judi: That's nothing; last night I had over a hundred.Brunette: My god! I had no idea he was that good.Judi: (looking shocked) Oh, you mean with one guy.

THREE GAY GUYS WERE ALL IN A CAR CRASH AND DIED. ALL THREE GUYS WERE CREMATED. THERE BOYFRIENDS WERE TALKING ABOUT WHAT THEY WERE GOING TO DO WITH THE ASHES. THE FIRST BOYFRIEND SAID I AM GOING TO SKY DIVE AND SPREAD HIS ASHES IN THE SKY BECAUSE THATS WHAT HE LIKED. THE SECOND GUY SAID I AM GOING TO SPREAD MY BOYFRIENDS ASHESIN THE SEA BECAUSE IT'S WHAT HE LIKED. THE THIRD GUY SAID I'M GOING TO PUT MY BOYFRIENDS ASHES IN A BOWL OF CHILI SO HE CAN RIP THROUGH MY ASS ONE LAST TIME!! Sent by ANTHONY