Memorial Jokes

As New Yorkers continue to await for someone, anyone to approve a final design of the World Trade Center Memorial, the Pentagon's 9/11 tribute is set for its groundbreaking on Thursday. So what exactly does this mean?
The phrase "it's like dealing with the Pentagon" will now imply a streamlined process that reaches its resolution quickly and easily.
The saying "in a New York minute" will now confer a unit of time that seems to last much, much longer than a regular minute.
Hordes of German tourists will now plan vacations to visit "The World's Largest Office Building."
Actually, New York's Memorial has been completed for some time. A reflection of the city itself, it's been dubbed "The Eternal Argument."

A Jewish woman’s husband dies and she has only $20, 000 to her name. After everything is done at the funeral home and cemetery, she tells her closest friend that she has no money left. The friend says, “How can that be? You told me you still had $20, 000 left just a few days before your husband died. How could you be broke? ” The widow says, “Well, the funeral home cost me $5, 000. And of course, I had to make the obligatory donation to the temple, so that was another $5, 000. The rest went for the memorial stone. ” The friend says, “$10, 000 for the memorial stone? My God, how big was it? ” Extending her left hand, the widow says, “Three carats. ”

Clinton, distraught and contemplating his latest scandal was walking through Washington looking for any kind of guidance.

He walks up to the Washington Monument, looks up and says,' George, you were always wise, what should I do?'

Low and behold, a voice comes down from above and says,' ABOLISH THE I.R.S. AND START OVER.' Clinton, amazed that he is talking to the past President thinks he'll try it again.

He walks over to the Jefferson Memorial and utters the same request.' Thomas, you never had these kind of problems, what can I do to rally people behind me?'

Again a voice from above answers,' WELFARE, ITS NOT WORKING, ABOLISH IT, START OVER.'

After hearing this Clinton is so excited he is planning to go to all the historic sites for guidance. Next he goes to the Lincoln Memorial.' Abe, I need your help, people are losing confidence in me and they no longer trust me what should I do?'

After a substantial pause Abe more...

George Bush went jogging one morning and came upon the Washington monument. He said, "George, what should I do?" After a few seconds George replied, "Abolish the IRS and start over." George thought about this for a few seconds and continued jogging.
Shortly he came upon the Jefferson Memorial and stopped. He said "Tom, what should I do?" After a few seconds Tom replied, "Abolish welfare and start over."
George continued jogging after thinking about this and came upon the Lincoln Memorial. He said, "Abe, what should I do?" After a few seconds Abe replied "Why don't you take the night off and go to the theater?"

One Sunday morning, the priest saw little Davey staring up at the large plaque that hung in the church's foyer. The plaque was covered with names and small American flags were mounted on either side of it. "Father Donovan," the boy asked, "what is this? "Well, son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service," the priest explained. They stood together quietly, staring at the memorial plaque. Little Davey softly asked, "Which service? The 9: 00 or the 10: 30?"