Memorial Jokes / Recent Jokes
A Jewish woman’s husband dies and she has only $20, 000 to her name. After everything is done at the funeral home and cemetery, she tells her closest friend that she has no money left. The friend says, “How can that be? You told me you still had $20, 000 left just a few days before your husband died. How could you be broke? ” The widow says, “Well, the funeral home cost me $5, 000. And of course, I had to make the obligatory donation to the temple, so that was another $5, 000. The rest went for the memorial stone. ” The friend says, “$10, 000 for the memorial stone? My God, how big was it? ” Extending her left hand, the widow says, “Three carats. ”
Bill Clinton went jogging one evening and came upon the Washington Monument.
He said, "George, what should I do?"
After a few seconds, George replied,
"Abolish the IRS and start over."
Bill thought about this for a few seconds and continued jogging. Shortly he came upon the Jefferson Memorial and stopped there. He said, "Tom, what should I do?"
After a few seconds, Tom replied,
"Abolish welfare and start over."
Bill continued jogging after thinking about this and came upon the Lincoln Memorial.He said, "Abe, what should I do?"
After a few seconds, Abe replied,
"Why don't you take the night off and go to the theater?"
The President of Harvard made a mistake by prejudging people and it cost him dearly.
A lady in a faded gingham dress and her husband, dressed in a homespun threadbare suit, stepped off the train in Boston, and walked timidly without an appointment into the president's outer office. The secretary could tell in a moment that such backwoods, country hicks had no business at Harvard and probably didn't even deserve to be in Cambridge.
She frowned. "We want to see the president", the man said softly. "He'll be busy all day," The secretary snapped. "We'll wait," the lady replied. For hours, the secretary ignored them, hoping that the couple would finally become discouraged and go away. They didn't. And the secretary grew frustrated and finally decided to disturb the president, even though it was a chore she always regretted to do.
"Maybe if they just see you for a few minutes, they'll leave," she told him. And he more...
Bill went jogging one morning and came upon the Washington monument. He said, "George, what should I do?" After a few seconds George replied, "Abolish the IRS and start over." Bill thought about this for a few seconds and continued jogging.
Shortly he came upon the Jefferson Memorial and stopped. He said "Tom, what should I do?" After a few seconds Tom replied, "Abolish welfare and start over."
Bill continued jogging after thinking about this and came upon the Lincoln Memorial. He said, "Abe, what should I do?" After a few seconds Abe replied "Why don't you take the night off and go to the theater?"
As New Yorkers continue to await for someone, anyone to approve a final design of the World Trade Center Memorial, the Pentagon's 9/11 tribute is set for its groundbreaking on Thursday. So what exactly does this mean?
The phrase "it's like dealing with the Pentagon" will now imply a streamlined process that reaches its resolution quickly and easily.
The saying "in a New York minute" will now confer a unit of time that seems to last much, much longer than a regular minute.
Hordes of German tourists will now plan vacations to visit "The World's Largest Office Building."
Actually, New York's Memorial has been completed for some time. A reflection of the city itself, it's been dubbed "The Eternal Argument."