Mental health Jokes / Recent Jokes
Mary was having a tough day and had stretched herself out on the couch to do a bit of what she thought to be well-deserved complaining and self- pitying. She moaned to her mom and brother, "Nobody loves me. .. the whole world hates me!"Her brother, busily occupied playing a game, hardly looked up at her and passed on this encouraging word: "Thats not true, Mary. Some people dont even know you."
How many Borderline P. D. does to take to change a lightbulb? Just one. To threaten suicide if you dont change it for him/her.
Patient: Why did you charge me a group rate? Psychiatrist: Youve got multiple personalities.
A young woman took her troubles to a psychiatrist. "Doctor, you must help me," she pleaded. "Its gotten so that every time I date a nice guy, I end up in bed with him. And then afterward, I feel guilty and depressed for a week.""I see," nodded the psychiatrist. "And you, no doubt, want me to strengthen your will power and resolve in this matter.""For Gods sake, NO!" exclaimed the woman. "I want you to fix it so I wont feel guilty and depressed afterward."
Patient: Doctor, I get the feeling that people dont give a hoot about anything I say. Psychiatrist: So?
Doctor, doctor, Im manic-depressive. Calm down. Cheer up. Clam down. Cheer up. Calm
How many psychoanalysts does it take to change a light bulb?"How many do you think it takes?"