Mental health Jokes / Recent Jokes
Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for a man then for a women? Because when it's time to go back to childhood, a man is already there.
Psychiatrist: Well, whats your problem? Patient: I prefer brown shoes to black shoes. Psychiatrist: Theres nothing wrong with that. Lots of people prefer brown shoes to black shoes. I do myself. Patient: Really? How do your like yours - fried or boiled?
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed. To the first mother he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You even named your daughter Candy."He turned to the second mom. "Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your childs name, Penny."He turned to the third mom. "Your obsession is alcohol and your childs name is Brandy."At this point, the fourth mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on sweety, lets go home."
A psychologist returned from a confrence in Aspen lodge, where all the psychologists were permited to ski for free. Her husband asked her, "How it went?". She replied, "Fine, but I've never seen so many Freudians slips."
Two psychologists meet at their twentieth college reunion. One of them looks like he just graduated, while the other psychologist looks old, worried and withered. The older looking one asks the other, "What's your secret? Listening to other people's problems every day, all day long, for years on end, has made an old man of me." The younger looking one replies, "Who listens?"
Patient: Doctor, my wife thinks I'm crazy because I like sausages. Psychiatrist: Nonsense! I like sausages too. Patient: Good, you should come and see my collection. I've got hundreds of them.
When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch, the physiatrist began his therapy session, "I'm not aware of your problem," the doctor said. "So perhaps, you should start at the very beginning." "Of course." replied the patient. "In the beginning, I created the Heavens and the Earth..."