Mental health Jokes / Recent Jokes

In a psychiatrist's waiting room two patients are having a conversation. One says to the other, "Why are you here?" The second answers, "I'm Napoleon, so the doctor told me to come here." The first is curious and asks, "How do you know that you're Napoleon?" The second responds, "God told me I was." At this point, a patient on the other side of the room shouts, "NO I DIDN'T!"

Two psychiatrists were walking down a hall. One turned to the other and said, "Hello."The other one thought, "I wonder what he meant by that."

A man who thinks he's George Washington has been seeing a psychiatrist. He finishes up one session by telling him, "Tomorrow, we'll cross the Delaware and surprise them when they least expect it." As soon as he's gone, the psychiatrist picks up the phone and says, "King George, this is Benedict Arnold. I have the plans."

One behaviorist to another after lovemaking: "Darling, that was wonderful for you. How was it for me?"

Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for a man then for a women? Because when its time to go back to childhood, a man is already there.

A psychologist returned from a confrence in Aspen lodge, where all the psychologists were permited to ski for free. Her husband asked her, "How it went?". She replied, "Fine, but Ive never seen so many Freudians slips."

Doctor, doctor, people tell me I'm a wheelbarrow. Don't let people push you around.