Mentor Jokes / Recent Jokes
A young lawyer went to work generating billable hours at a prestigious law firm. After six months of 20-hour days, the senior partner who had become his mentor told him that if he continued this diligence, he might someday be considered for partner.
After another six months, the electricity went out one night in his office. Not being able to work, he headed home a bit earlier than usual. When he arrived there, his mentor's car was in his driveway and all the lights were out.
Fearing the worst, he quietly entered the front door, removed his shoes, and tiptoed upstairs where he could see by moonlight his wife and his mentor in a passionate, naked embrace.
He stole back down the steps, let his car roll silently out of the driveway without starting it, then drove back to his dark office, where he sat sweating in his chair and said, "Whew, I almost got caught."
A young lawyer went to work generating billable hours at a prestigious law firm. After six months of 20-hour days, the senior partner who had become his mentor told him that if he continued this diligence, he might someday be considered for partner.
After another six months, the electricity went out one night in his office. Not being able to work, he headed home a bit earlier than usual. When he arrived there, his mentor's car was in his driveway and all the lights were out.
Fearing the worst, he quietly entered the front door, removed his shoes, and tiptoed upstairs where he could see by moonlight his wife and his mentor in a passionate, naked embrace.
He stole back down the steps, let his car roll silently out of the driveway without starting it, then drove back to his dark office, where he sat sweating in his chair and said, "Whew, I almost got caught."
>? My Boss had a "stroke of genius" and it killed him.
>
>? My Boss recently fired a gay employee. He called it "canning the fruit".
>
>? My Boss is a famous inventor. He created "the fluke".
>
>? Whenever "it's" going to hit the fan, my Boss makes sure I'm right down
>front.
>
>? I work in the company kitchen. My Boss said "If you ever drop food on the
>floor, just put it in the microwave for a few seconds to kill the germs.
>Then go ahead and put it on plates for the customers."
>
>? My Boss was complaining about how much time I used to take my wife to the
>doctor for her leukemia treatments. He said "You're making too much of
>this. We are all going to die sometime. Make sure your career doesn't die
>first."
>
>? We recently moved into a new building that didn't have enough space for
>our cubicles. I was told my cubicle wouldn't more...
ADAM & EVE
One fine morning in Eden, God was looking for Adam and Eve, but couldn't
find them. Later in the day God saw Adam and asked where he and Eve were
earlier. Adam said, "This morning Eve and I made love for the first time."
God said, "Adam, you have sinned. I knew this would happen. Where is Eve
now?"
Adam replied, "She's down at the river, washing herself out."
"Damn," says God, "now all the fish will smell funny."
THE EPIC OF THE BAKED BEAN
Once upon a time there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked
beans. He loved them, he adored them, he yearned for them. But they always
caused him a great deal of embarrassment shortly after eating them. The
reaction of his body to the beans was swift and terrible to behold.
One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they
would marry, he realized she might be even more embarrassed and more...
There was once a very influential farmer in an obscure part of China. He had a problem, for which he sought the counsel of the two wise men in town. So he summons the two wise men, Hing, who is an scientist, and Ming, who is a sorcerer, and requests that they find a cure for his chickens who are losing their feathers and dying. Hing decides to pay a visit to his mentor at the Agricultural Extension of the local Community College, under whom he studied many years ago. The mentor recommends the book "Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Diseases of Chickens, But Were Afraid to Ask". So Hing visits the library, borrows the book, and finds inside the report of a study that finds that feeding the chickens with an infusion of gum tree leaves is often a cure for chickens losing their feathers. Meanwhile back at the ranch, Ming reads obscure writings of ancient wise men, he meditates, and he reads tarot cards. He also tries to read the entrails of a fetal pig. Getting no more...